Sue Scheff - AIDS, STD's and Teen Sex by Connect with Kids

A Silent Epidemic

It’s scary, dangerous, and hard to talk about with your kids: one out of four sexually active teens contracts a sexually transmitted disease (STD) - 3 million new cases a year.

How do you talk to your kids about the life-long effects of STDs? About the physical and emotional pain? The real risks of oral sex?

Watch A Silent Epidemic together, and suddenly the spotlight is off of your kids and you can talk about the real kids in the program, who share their true stories about peer pressure, sex... and disease. It’s a powerful way to start the conversation in a non-threatening way, so you can both learn the facts, understand the consequences, and connect around this tough topic.

Hear the latest information from researchers, physicians and educators. Discover how to talk so your kids will listen... and learn what you can do to help your children avoid life-altering diseases.

Sue Scheff - Parent Advocates - Parenting Articles

Check out my Blog on articles covering parenting, cyber safety and more.

Sue Scheff - Teenage Pregnancy

For parents, a teenage daughter becoming pregnant is a nightmare situation.

Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States.
That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact! Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.

If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.

Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.™) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!

We have created this website as a reference for parents dealing with teenage pregnancy in hope that we can help you through the situation and make the best decisions.

Please visit our website, Help Your Teens, for more information as well as support.

For more information on Teen Pregnancy.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Benefits of Abstinence Among Teens and Pre-teens

By Connect with Kids

“If you don’t feel that they should be having sex at this age, tell them that. Explain your values. Listen to them as well, give them a chance to express their opinions as well, and you can have a discussion about it. It’s very important that adolescents have a chance to express their own opinions and to hear your reactions to those opinions.”

– Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician

Regret can be a great teacher and, according to a new survey of high school students, that’s especially true when it comes to teenagers and sex.

Trey was 14 when he first had sex.

“Just the pressure -- upper classmen -- they were just ragging me on to do it, and I just fell into that trap. I fell into that peer pressure,” says Trey, 17.

Afterwards, Trey says he regretted it.

“Just the feeling, the emotions that were going through my mind…and my thoughts were, ‘What am I doing? I feel like I’m soliciting myself, I don’t know even know this girl’s name by heart,’” recalls Trey.

In a survey of high school students by researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, sexually-experienced teens were twice as likely to value abstinence as teens who were virgins. It seems that it is after having sex that some kids learn the value of being abstinent.

“It’s unfortunate that they had to learn it the hard way, but one of the things that they’re realizing is that there is an alternative way: there’s a way for me to court [someone], or to get a guy that I like to court me and respect me and for me not to have sex,” says Alduan Tartt, psychologist.

Experts say another way kids can learn about the risks and complications of sex are from their parents -- not from “atalk” but with a conversation.

“If you don’t feel that they should be having sex at this age, tell them that. Explain your values. Listen to them as well, give them a chance to express their opinions as well, and you can have a discussion about it. It’s very important that adolescents have a chance to express their own opinions and to hear your reactions to those opinions,” says Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician.

Trey says he’s choosing abstinence now and it feels right.

“You don’t have anything to worry about. You don’t have to worry about if you have an STD. You’re just focused on your goals,” says Trey.

Tips for Parents
Abstinence is defined as not having sex. A person who decides to practice abstinence has decided not to have sex. (Nemours Foundation)

Abstinence is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Although many birth control methods can have high rates of success if used properly, they can fail occasionally. Practicing abstinence ensures that a girl will not become pregnant because there is no opportunity for sperm to fertilize an egg. (Nemours Foundation)

Only complete and consistent abstinence can totally protect against STDs. Because a person does not have any type of intimate sexual contact when he or she practices complete abstinence, there is no risk of passing on a sexually transmitted infection. (Nemours Foundation)

Don't let teasing or pressure from friends, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or even the media push you into something that's not right for you. Research shows that the majority of teens are not having sex. (www.connectwithkids.com/everybodysnotdoingit)

A couple can still have a relationship without having sex. If you've made a decision not to have sex, it's an important personal choice and the people who care about you should respect that. (Nemours Foundation)

You may have questions about making this choice or about other methods of birth control. Your doctor or nurse — or an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher or counselor — can help provide accurate answers. (Nemours Foundation)

References
Nemours Foundation
Children and Youth Coordinating Council (CYCC) www.connectwithkids.com/everybodysnotdoingit

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Sex Education and Prevention

Sex Education and Prevention

Talking with your children about sex is difficult, and it can be an easy thing to put off. Educating your child is important! If you aren't, you are allowing their knowledge to come from outside sources like the media and their friends - what is scarier!

The biggest key to preventing teenage pregnancy is education. The more your child knows about sex and the realistic effects it has, the more likely they are to make good decisions. Assuming that if sex is not discussed in your home your child will abstain is dangerously false.

Be open about sexuality. After all, it is a natural part of being human. Be approachable! Let your children know that they can ask you any questions they have about sex, including intimacy in their relationships. Regular conversations that are in good humor for both parties will keep the lines of communication open.

While you work to educate your children about sex, it is also a good idea to establish rules as far as curfews and behavior go. The two work hand in hand.

Most importantly, work with your children to find activities and goals that will keep them busy! Teenagers who become pregnant often lack activity that leaves them feeling gratified - and they turn to sex. Discuss their goals and dreams. Encourage them to have activities outside the house in positive environments. Maintain the idea that education is the most important part of being a teenager!

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Early Dating, Early Sexual Activity

By Connect with Kids

First Comes Love

Will you be ready when your son has his first girlfriend? When your daughter has her first boyfriend? Will you be able to help them with the peer pressure to have sex? Will you be ready to address the warning signs of dating violence?

These are difficult topics for parents and kids to talk about together...

First Comes Love helps you start the conversation. The program features real kids sharing their true dating stories – and suddenly the pressure is off of your children as you talk about the kids in the program. That, says experts, opens the door for communication and learning. The program also features advice from health experts and child specialists about the best way to protect children from the “dark side of teenage love.”

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): Boys and Teen Pregnancy

By Connect with Kids

How seriously do guys take teen pregnancy?

“Some of them, they like, they get a girl pregnant, they really don’t care,” says 16-year-old Dominique King. “I think most guys attitudes about it is it’s going to feel good, it’s going to be fun. I don’t think they worry about the after-effects,” adds Curtis Cotsonis, 17.

Experts say a lot of young males feel that way. “Hey, you know. If I get somebody pregnant I can walk away. And that’s a bad attitude,” explains Daniel Jean-Baptiste, an STD Prevention Educator.

And pregnancy prevention experts say changing that attitude is not easy. “It’s still very much a notch in your belt, to score for a young guy,” says Michele Ozumba, a Pregnancy Prevention Specialist with GCAP, the Governor’s Council on Adolescent Pregnancy. “It seem as if girls are the only ones who want to talk about not having sex, STD’s, not getting pregnant,” adds Jean-Baptiste.

That’s where a program like the Governor’s Council on Adolescent Pregnancy comes in. Here, male volunteers learn from pregnancy prevention specialists to become ‘teen educators’.

“They want us to spread the news to help out guys,” says 15-year-old Dontavious Cheeks.

Spreading the news, not by doing speeches or handing out pamphlets… but one conversation at a time. “When you have another teenager, who’s their age from their communities, speaks their language, so to say. They’re much more receptive,” says Jean-Baptiste. “If I’m walking down the hall with some friends of mine and hear one of them talk about sex, talk about getting a girl pregnant, talk about this that and the other thing. You know I’ll say ‘this and this could happen to you’,” says Curtis.

And experts add… the power of that peer message is multiplied when young males also get the same message at home. “Because parents are still the greatest influence on a young persons life,” says Ozumba, “Even when the parents don’t realize it.”


By Larry Eldridge
CWK Network, Inc.

Consider the following statistics gathered in a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention concerning teenage sexual behavior:

Half of all students have had sexual intercourse during their lifetime. Hispanic male students (63 percent) were significantly more likely than Hispanic female students (46 percent) to have had sexual intercourse.

Overall, black students (71 percent) were significantly more likely than Hispanic students (54 percent) and white students (45 percent) to have had sexual intercourse.

Nationwide, 8 percent of students had initiated sexual intercourse before age 13. Overall, male students (12 percent) were significantly more likely than female students (4 percent) to have initiated sexual intercourse before age 13.

Nationwide, 16 percent of all students had had sexual intercourse during their lifetime with four or more sex partners. Overall, male students (19 percent) were significantly more likely than female students (13 percent) to have had four or more sex partners.

Nationwide, 36 percent of all students had had sexual intercourse during the three months preceding the survey (i.e., currently sexually active). Overall, black students (53 percent) were significantly more likely than Hispanic and white students (36 percent and 33 percent, respectively) to be currently sexually active.

Among students who had had sexual intercourse during their lifetime, 27 percent had been abstinent during the three months preceding the survey (i.e., currently abstinent). Overall, male students (30 percent) were significantly more likely than female students (24 percent) to be currently abstinent.


By Larry Eldridge
CWK Network, Inc.

Open communication and accurate information from parents increase the chance that teens will postpone sex and will use appropriate methods of birth control once they begin – thus preventing teen pregnancy.

In talking with your child or adolescent, experts at the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry say it is helpful to:

Encourage your child to talk and ask questions.

Maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for discussions.

Use words that are understandable and comfortable.

Try to determine your child’s level of knowledge and understanding.

Keep your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to talk about your own discomfort.

Relate sex to love, intimacy, caring and respect for oneself and one’s partner.

Be open in sharing your values and concerns.

Discuss the importance of responsibility for choices and decisions.

Help your child to consider the pros and cons of choices.

By developing open, honest and ongoing communication about responsibility, sex and choice, parents can help their youngsters learn about sex in a healthy and positive manner.

Sue Scheff: The Reality of Teen Pregnancy

Teen pregnancy in the United States is a serious concern. The US has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births of any industrialized country.

1/3 of all US teenage girls will become pregnant. This equals to roughly 750,000 each year! Unmarried teenage mothers rarely finish high school; in fact, 2/3 do not.

Children born to teenage mothers are more likely to suffer from low birth weight and other medical problems. They are also more likely to develop learning disabilities and mental disorders as they reach their teenage years.

The facts are real. Our sons and daughters live in a generation plagued by these statistics, and it is up to us as parents make a change.

Find out more about Teen Pregnancy.

Sue Scheff: Talking with your children about sex and relationships

Sex & the Silent Parent

Sex. It’s on TV, the Internet, in magazines, movies and music videos. But it’s still one of those topics that is hard for parents and their children to talk about. And that’s a problem, because what kids don’t know – and what they think they know – can hurt them.

Learn how to talk with your kids about sex – in a way that they’ll listen. Order the Sex & the Silent Parent. You’ll learn specific advice about where, when, what and how to talk with your kids about sex.

You may be surprised by what your kids believe about sex. A recent health survey reported that most kids don’t know you can get an STD from oral sex. A majority believes you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex. And two-thirds of teens that do have sex later say they regret it. It’s up to you to give your children the facts and help them be safe and healthy.

Sex & the Silent Parent provides information to help parents learn when the timing is right to have these conversations and how to answer the questions kids ask. You’ll learn how important it is to discuss the dangers and risks, as well as explain what it means to develop trusting relationships. Kids really do want to talk… and listen… and learn from an adult they trust.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): What your kids are doing shouldn't be a mystery

Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet? Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life.

If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”

Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

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