As I continue to keep parents up to date with today's teen - I have recently launched the following websites:
Teen Suicide
Teen Mischief
Teen Cults
TeenDrug Addiction
Identity Crisis - Adopted Teens
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Purity Pledges - Courtesy of Connect with Kids
“Many parents find it valuable to still say to their kid, ‘Look, I don’t want you to have sex until you’re married, but I feel that you need to understand about contraception because so many kids do have sex.’”
– Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician
Each year, thousands of young people make a pledge of abstinence, vowing not to have sex until they get married. But over time, how does the behavior of the kids who pledge abstinence compare to those who don’t?
“That I will, with the grace of God, live a chaste life,” says Rebecca, reading her pledge.
Rebecca’s pledge is a promise she made to herself not to have sex before she is married.
“I was not comfortable with the person I was becoming, so that’s when I decided that I wanted to make a vow of chastity,” says Rebecca, 18.
She’s kept that vow for two years, but according to a study by Columbia University, 88 percent of pledgers break their vow and have sex before marriage. This issue is controversial, and some experts say the problem is that many kids take the pledge because their parents want them to, not because they want to.
“If they do it for Mom and Dad, [then] Mom and Dad took the pledge,” says Molly Kelly, teen chastity advocate.
The Columbia University study included 12,000 teens and found that the kids who pledge abstinence have the same rate of STDs as those who don’t.
“If we just tell our kids to not have sex, and we don’t tell them anything else, [then] when they do have sex, they’re not prepared for the consequences,” says Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician.
He says that even with a vow of abstinence, kids still need to be knowledgeable.
“Many parents find it valuable to still say to their kid, ‘Look, I don’t want you to have sex until you’re married, but I feel that you need to understand about contraception because so many kids do have sex,’” says Schuster.
Rebecca says a serious test of her pledge will happen when she gets to college.
“And that’s going to be when I prove to myself that this promise I made is really real,” says Schuster.
Tips for Parents
Parents sometimes find it difficult to have discussions about sex or sexuality with their teenagers. However, the importance of having these discussions with children has been well documented.
The following suggestions for ideas and topics of discussion about sex and sexuality are excerpted from information available from the National Campaign To Prevent Teen Pregnancy:
Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes. Communicating with your children about sex, love and relationships is often more successful when you are certain in your own mind about these issues.
Talk with your children early and often about sex, and be specific. Kids have lots of questions about sex, and they often say that the source they'd most like to go to for an answer is their parents. Start the conversation, and make sure that it is honest, open and respectful. If you can't think of how to start the discussion, consider using situations shown on television or in movies as conversation starters. Connect with Kids DVDs are designed to help you with these conversations, using real kids and stories and a family discussion guide.
Try http://www.connectwithkids.com/products/firstcomeslove.shtml
or http://www.connectwithkids.com/products/sex_silent_parent.shtml.
Tell children candidly and confidently what you think and why you take these positions; if you're not sure about some issues, tell them that, too. Be sure to have a two-way conversation, not a one-way lecture.
Ask them what they think and what they know so you can correct misconceptions. Ask what, if anything, worries them.
Supervise and monitor your children and adolescents. Establish rules, curfews and standards of expected behavior, preferably through an open process of family discussion and respectful communication.
Know your children's friends and their families. Friends have a strong influence on each other, so help your children and teenagers become friends with kids whose families share your values.
Discourage early, frequent and steady dating. Group activities among young people are fine and often fun, but experts discourage steady, one-on-one dating before age 16.
Take a strong stand against your daughter dating a boy significantly older than she is. And don't allow your son to develop an intense relationship with a girl much younger than he is. Try setting a limit of no more than a two- (or at most three-) year age difference.
Help your teenagers to have options for the future that are more attractive than early pregnancy and parenthood. The chances that your children will delay sex, pregnancy and parenthood are significantly increased if their futures appear bright.
Let your kids know that you value education highly. Encourage your children to take school seriously and set high expectations about their school performance. School failure is often the first sign of trouble that can end in teenage parenthood.
Know what your kids are watching, reading and listening to. The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are often sends the wrong messages. Sex rarely has meaning, unplanned pregnancy seldom happens, and few people having sex ever seem to be married or even especially committed to anyone.
These tips for helping your children avoid teen pregnancy work best when they occur as part of strong, close relationships with your children that are built from an early age. Strive for a relationship that is warm in tone, firm in discipline, rich in communication, and one that emphasizes mutual trust and respect.
References
National Campaign To Prevent Teen Pregnancy
– Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician
Each year, thousands of young people make a pledge of abstinence, vowing not to have sex until they get married. But over time, how does the behavior of the kids who pledge abstinence compare to those who don’t?
“That I will, with the grace of God, live a chaste life,” says Rebecca, reading her pledge.
Rebecca’s pledge is a promise she made to herself not to have sex before she is married.
“I was not comfortable with the person I was becoming, so that’s when I decided that I wanted to make a vow of chastity,” says Rebecca, 18.
She’s kept that vow for two years, but according to a study by Columbia University, 88 percent of pledgers break their vow and have sex before marriage. This issue is controversial, and some experts say the problem is that many kids take the pledge because their parents want them to, not because they want to.
“If they do it for Mom and Dad, [then] Mom and Dad took the pledge,” says Molly Kelly, teen chastity advocate.
The Columbia University study included 12,000 teens and found that the kids who pledge abstinence have the same rate of STDs as those who don’t.
“If we just tell our kids to not have sex, and we don’t tell them anything else, [then] when they do have sex, they’re not prepared for the consequences,” says Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician.
He says that even with a vow of abstinence, kids still need to be knowledgeable.
“Many parents find it valuable to still say to their kid, ‘Look, I don’t want you to have sex until you’re married, but I feel that you need to understand about contraception because so many kids do have sex,’” says Schuster.
Rebecca says a serious test of her pledge will happen when she gets to college.
“And that’s going to be when I prove to myself that this promise I made is really real,” says Schuster.
Tips for Parents
Parents sometimes find it difficult to have discussions about sex or sexuality with their teenagers. However, the importance of having these discussions with children has been well documented.
The following suggestions for ideas and topics of discussion about sex and sexuality are excerpted from information available from the National Campaign To Prevent Teen Pregnancy:
Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes. Communicating with your children about sex, love and relationships is often more successful when you are certain in your own mind about these issues.
Talk with your children early and often about sex, and be specific. Kids have lots of questions about sex, and they often say that the source they'd most like to go to for an answer is their parents. Start the conversation, and make sure that it is honest, open and respectful. If you can't think of how to start the discussion, consider using situations shown on television or in movies as conversation starters. Connect with Kids DVDs are designed to help you with these conversations, using real kids and stories and a family discussion guide.
Try http://www.connectwithkids.com/products/firstcomeslove.shtml
or http://www.connectwithkids.com/products/sex_silent_parent.shtml.
Tell children candidly and confidently what you think and why you take these positions; if you're not sure about some issues, tell them that, too. Be sure to have a two-way conversation, not a one-way lecture.
Ask them what they think and what they know so you can correct misconceptions. Ask what, if anything, worries them.
Supervise and monitor your children and adolescents. Establish rules, curfews and standards of expected behavior, preferably through an open process of family discussion and respectful communication.
Know your children's friends and their families. Friends have a strong influence on each other, so help your children and teenagers become friends with kids whose families share your values.
Discourage early, frequent and steady dating. Group activities among young people are fine and often fun, but experts discourage steady, one-on-one dating before age 16.
Take a strong stand against your daughter dating a boy significantly older than she is. And don't allow your son to develop an intense relationship with a girl much younger than he is. Try setting a limit of no more than a two- (or at most three-) year age difference.
Help your teenagers to have options for the future that are more attractive than early pregnancy and parenthood. The chances that your children will delay sex, pregnancy and parenthood are significantly increased if their futures appear bright.
Let your kids know that you value education highly. Encourage your children to take school seriously and set high expectations about their school performance. School failure is often the first sign of trouble that can end in teenage parenthood.
Know what your kids are watching, reading and listening to. The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are often sends the wrong messages. Sex rarely has meaning, unplanned pregnancy seldom happens, and few people having sex ever seem to be married or even especially committed to anyone.
These tips for helping your children avoid teen pregnancy work best when they occur as part of strong, close relationships with your children that are built from an early age. Strive for a relationship that is warm in tone, firm in discipline, rich in communication, and one that emphasizes mutual trust and respect.
References
National Campaign To Prevent Teen Pregnancy
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Parent's Universal Resource Experts: Sue Scheff Talks about Teen Pregnancy
For parents, a teenage daughter becoming pregnant is a nightmare situation.
Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States.
That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact.
Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.
If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.
Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!
No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!
Sex Education and Prevention
Talking with your children about sex is difficult, and it can be an easy thing to put off. Educating your child is important! If you aren't, you are allowing their knowledge to come from outside sources like the media and their friends - what is scarier!
The biggest key to preventing teenage pregnancy is education. The more your child knows about sex and the realistic effects it has, the more likely they are to make good decisions. Assuming that if sex is not discussed in your home your child will abstain is dangerously false.
Be open about sexuality. After all, it is a natural part of being human. Be approachable! Let your children know that they can ask you any questions they have about sex, including intimacy in their relationships. Regular conversations that are in good humor for both parties will keep the lines of communication open.
While you work to educate your children about sex, it is also a good idea to establish rules as far as curfews and behavior go. The two work hand in hand.
Most importantly, work with your children to find activities and goals that will keep them busy! Teenagers who become pregnant often lack activity that leaves them feeling gratified - and they turn to sex. Discuss their goals and dreams. Encourage them to have activities outside the house in positive environments. Maintain the idea that education is the most important part of being a teenager!
The Importance of Communication
While communication between your daughter and yourself can be a large key to preventing pregnancy, it is an even more important part of working through a pregnancy. Discovering your daughter is pregnant may feel like the worst possible thing that could happen. Your emotions may be paralyzing - you may be unsure of how to accept the situation or how to address it.
The first thing you must remember that all of the feelings you have are multiplied by ten for your daughter. She is angry and afraid and unable to solve her problems on her own.
While you may be angry and disappointed in her choices, be sure that she knows she is not alone. What is done is done - there is no use in resenting what has happened. Together, accept that the situation must be dealt with quickly.
Discuss the situation. Does she know how long she has been pregnant? If not, when was her last period? Has she taken a pregnancy test? With these initial answers, make a doctors appointment as soon as possible. These questions may be hard for her to answer, and may upset her further. Make sure that you don't push her to answer you. Making her comfortable will make her more inclined to share.
You will need to also address the situation regarding the baby's father. Has he been told? His parents? Do what you can to get a honest answer about her relationship with him. His role is important as well, considering he is the baby's father.
The initial conversations between you and your daughter will set the tone for the rest of her pregnancy. Regardless of her decisions, she will need you ever step of the way. Opening the communication lines right away and keeping them strong will give your daughter the support she needs to make it through her pregnancy.
Support
Many organizations are available both online and in your community to help you and your daughter through her pregnancy.
Do as much research as possible for support groups, classes and books that will help your daughter through whatever decision she makes. No matter what her choice, the emotional effects will need to be addressed. If she chooses to be a parent, finding other teenage parents in a positive learning environment will be helpful as well.
Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States.
That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact.
Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.
If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.
Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!
No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!
Sex Education and Prevention
Talking with your children about sex is difficult, and it can be an easy thing to put off. Educating your child is important! If you aren't, you are allowing their knowledge to come from outside sources like the media and their friends - what is scarier!
The biggest key to preventing teenage pregnancy is education. The more your child knows about sex and the realistic effects it has, the more likely they are to make good decisions. Assuming that if sex is not discussed in your home your child will abstain is dangerously false.
Be open about sexuality. After all, it is a natural part of being human. Be approachable! Let your children know that they can ask you any questions they have about sex, including intimacy in their relationships. Regular conversations that are in good humor for both parties will keep the lines of communication open.
While you work to educate your children about sex, it is also a good idea to establish rules as far as curfews and behavior go. The two work hand in hand.
Most importantly, work with your children to find activities and goals that will keep them busy! Teenagers who become pregnant often lack activity that leaves them feeling gratified - and they turn to sex. Discuss their goals and dreams. Encourage them to have activities outside the house in positive environments. Maintain the idea that education is the most important part of being a teenager!
The Importance of Communication
While communication between your daughter and yourself can be a large key to preventing pregnancy, it is an even more important part of working through a pregnancy. Discovering your daughter is pregnant may feel like the worst possible thing that could happen. Your emotions may be paralyzing - you may be unsure of how to accept the situation or how to address it.
The first thing you must remember that all of the feelings you have are multiplied by ten for your daughter. She is angry and afraid and unable to solve her problems on her own.
While you may be angry and disappointed in her choices, be sure that she knows she is not alone. What is done is done - there is no use in resenting what has happened. Together, accept that the situation must be dealt with quickly.
Discuss the situation. Does she know how long she has been pregnant? If not, when was her last period? Has she taken a pregnancy test? With these initial answers, make a doctors appointment as soon as possible. These questions may be hard for her to answer, and may upset her further. Make sure that you don't push her to answer you. Making her comfortable will make her more inclined to share.
You will need to also address the situation regarding the baby's father. Has he been told? His parents? Do what you can to get a honest answer about her relationship with him. His role is important as well, considering he is the baby's father.
The initial conversations between you and your daughter will set the tone for the rest of her pregnancy. Regardless of her decisions, she will need you ever step of the way. Opening the communication lines right away and keeping them strong will give your daughter the support she needs to make it through her pregnancy.
Support
Many organizations are available both online and in your community to help you and your daughter through her pregnancy.
Do as much research as possible for support groups, classes and books that will help your daughter through whatever decision she makes. No matter what her choice, the emotional effects will need to be addressed. If she chooses to be a parent, finding other teenage parents in a positive learning environment will be helpful as well.
Friday, October 19, 2007
My new Blogs on News Articles and more on Parenting Teens offers informational reports from all over the country.
Click here.
Click here.
Monday, September 10, 2007
An interesting new article on Teen Pregnancy:
http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/viewArticle.asp?articleID=36901
http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/viewArticle.asp?articleID=36901
Friday, August 10, 2007
Sue Scheff on Teen Pregnancy
Facing this issue with your teens is extremely difficult and can literally tear a family apart.
Help educate yourself and your teens on this subject. Visit http://www.teenpregnancy.org/ for more information as well as my website regarding Teen Pregnancy.
Help educate yourself and your teens on this subject. Visit http://www.teenpregnancy.org/ for more information as well as my website regarding Teen Pregnancy.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Information on Teenage Pregnancy By Sue Scheff
For parents, a teenage daughter becoming pregnant is a nightmare situation.
Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States.
That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact.
Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.
If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.
Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!
No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!
Sex Education and Prevention
Talking with your children about sex is difficult, and it can be an easy thing to put off. Educating your child is important! If you aren't, you are allowing their knowledge to come from outside sources like the media and their friends - what is scarier!
The biggest key to preventing teenage pregnancy is education. The more your child knows about sex and the realistic effects it has, the more likely they are to make good decisions. Assuming that if sex is not discussed in your home your child will abstain is dangerously false.
Be open about sexuality. After all, it is a natural part of being human. Be approachable! Let your children know that they can ask you any questions they have about sex, including intimacy in their relationships. Regular conversations that are in good humor for both parties will keep the lines of communication open.
While you work to educate your children about sex, it is also a good idea to establish rules as far as curfews and behavior go. The two work hand in hand.
Most importantly, work with your children to find activities and goals that will keep them busy! Teenagers who become pregnant often lack activity that leaves them feeling gratified - and they turn to sex. Discuss their goals and dreams. Encourage them to have activities outside the house in positive environments. Maintain the idea that education is the most important part of being a teenager!
The Importance of Communication
While communication between your daughter and yourself can be a large key to preventing pregnancy, it is an even more important part of working through a pregnancy. Discovering your daughter is pregnant may feel like the worst possible thing that could happen. Your emotions may be paralyzing - you may be unsure of how to accept the situation or how to address it.
The first thing you must remember that all of the feelings you have are multiplied by ten for your daughter. She is angry and afraid and unable to solve her problems on her own.
While you may be angry and disappointed in her choices, be sure that she knows she is not alone. What is done is done - there is no use in resenting what has happened. Together, accept that the situation must be dealt with quickly.
Discuss the situation. Does she know how long she has been pregnant? If not, when was her last period? Has she taken a pregnancy test? With these initial answers, make a doctors appointment as soon as possible. These questions may be hard for her to answer, and may upset her further. Make sure that you don't push her to answer you. Making her comfortable will make her more inclined to share.
You will need to also address the situation regarding the baby's father. Has he been told? His parents? Do what you can to get a honest answer about her relationship with him. His role is important as well, considering he is the baby's father.
The initial conversations between you and your daughter will set the tone for the rest of her pregnancy. Regardless of her decisions, she will need you ever step of the way. Opening the communication lines right away and keeping them strong will give your daughter the support she needs to make it through her pregnancy.
Support
Many organizations are available both online and in your community to help you and your daughter through her pregnancy.
Do as much research as possible for support groups, classes and books that will help your daughter through whatever decision she makes. No matter what her choice, the emotional effects will need to be addressed. If she chooses to be a parent, finding other teenage parents in a positive learning environment will be helpful as well.
For more information visit www.sue-scheff.org or www.helpyourteens.com
Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States.
That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact.
Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.
If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.
Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!
No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!
Sex Education and Prevention
Talking with your children about sex is difficult, and it can be an easy thing to put off. Educating your child is important! If you aren't, you are allowing their knowledge to come from outside sources like the media and their friends - what is scarier!
The biggest key to preventing teenage pregnancy is education. The more your child knows about sex and the realistic effects it has, the more likely they are to make good decisions. Assuming that if sex is not discussed in your home your child will abstain is dangerously false.
Be open about sexuality. After all, it is a natural part of being human. Be approachable! Let your children know that they can ask you any questions they have about sex, including intimacy in their relationships. Regular conversations that are in good humor for both parties will keep the lines of communication open.
While you work to educate your children about sex, it is also a good idea to establish rules as far as curfews and behavior go. The two work hand in hand.
Most importantly, work with your children to find activities and goals that will keep them busy! Teenagers who become pregnant often lack activity that leaves them feeling gratified - and they turn to sex. Discuss their goals and dreams. Encourage them to have activities outside the house in positive environments. Maintain the idea that education is the most important part of being a teenager!
The Importance of Communication
While communication between your daughter and yourself can be a large key to preventing pregnancy, it is an even more important part of working through a pregnancy. Discovering your daughter is pregnant may feel like the worst possible thing that could happen. Your emotions may be paralyzing - you may be unsure of how to accept the situation or how to address it.
The first thing you must remember that all of the feelings you have are multiplied by ten for your daughter. She is angry and afraid and unable to solve her problems on her own.
While you may be angry and disappointed in her choices, be sure that she knows she is not alone. What is done is done - there is no use in resenting what has happened. Together, accept that the situation must be dealt with quickly.
Discuss the situation. Does she know how long she has been pregnant? If not, when was her last period? Has she taken a pregnancy test? With these initial answers, make a doctors appointment as soon as possible. These questions may be hard for her to answer, and may upset her further. Make sure that you don't push her to answer you. Making her comfortable will make her more inclined to share.
You will need to also address the situation regarding the baby's father. Has he been told? His parents? Do what you can to get a honest answer about her relationship with him. His role is important as well, considering he is the baby's father.
The initial conversations between you and your daughter will set the tone for the rest of her pregnancy. Regardless of her decisions, she will need you ever step of the way. Opening the communication lines right away and keeping them strong will give your daughter the support she needs to make it through her pregnancy.
Support
Many organizations are available both online and in your community to help you and your daughter through her pregnancy.
Do as much research as possible for support groups, classes and books that will help your daughter through whatever decision she makes. No matter what her choice, the emotional effects will need to be addressed. If she chooses to be a parent, finding other teenage parents in a positive learning environment will be helpful as well.
For more information visit www.sue-scheff.org or www.helpyourteens.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
P.U.R.E.
- 
