Thursday, June 11, 2009

Sue Scheff: The Talk: It's More than Just Sex

Source: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy


In our conversations with young people about sex, pregnancy, and family formation — aka, the dreaded "Talk" — we parents too often leave out one of the most important topics of all: healthy relationships. Simply put, young people often get the textbook definitions on how to reduce the risk of pregnancy and STDs — by waiting to have sex or by using contraception — but they're rarely given guidance on how to successfully navigate the minefield of relationships. Remember that the lessons they learn from their relationships as teenagers will be the foundation of the relationships they form as adults.



Here are some suggestions we think might be helpful in conversations you should have with your sons and daughters.

Click here: http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/relationships.aspx

Wednesday, May 6, 2009



May 6, 2009 is the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. How do you score? Take the National Day Quiz and find out.

Hundreds of thousands of teens nationwide are expected to participate in the eighth annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy on May 6, 2009. The purpose of the National Day is straightforward. Too many teens still think “It can’t happen to me.” The National Day helps teens understand that it can happen to them and that they need to think seriously about what they would do in the moment.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teens and Birth Control

Source: TeensHealth

One of the toughest decisions that a lot of teens face is whether to have sex. If people decide to have sex, it means they must also take responsibility to protect themselves from unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

In the United States, the teenage pregnancy rate is higher than in many other countries. Approximately 1 million teens become pregnant every year and most didn't plan on becoming pregnant. In addition to preventing unplanned pregnancies, people who have sex must protect themselves from STDs. For those having sex, condoms must always be used every time to protect against STDs.

The most effective way to prevent pregnancy and STDs is document.write(defabstinence120) abstinence. Couples who do decide to have sex can choose from many effective birth control methods.

Check the articles below to learn some important information about different methods of birth control. You may be surprised — some popular ones aren't as effective as people might think.

Birth Control Patch
Birth Control Pill
Birth Control Ring
Birth Control Shot
Cervical Cap
Condom
Diaphragm
Emergency Contraception (Morning-After Pill)
Implantable Contraception
IUD
Fertility Awareness
Spermicide
Withdrawal

Monday, March 30, 2009

Sue Scheff: Girl Sex Boundaries




At parties, in school parking lots or when they’re just hanging out, girls are often pressured by boys to “fool around” and have sex. But now more than ever, girls are gaining the confidence to answer their male counterparts with a resounding “no.”

“It might be hard the first couple of times, but after you keep that standard for yourself all the time, then others will learn to accept it,” says Tasleem Jadabji, a teen.

“Just standing up for yourself over time will help give you that confidence,” adds her friend, Shoba Reddy-Holdcraft.

According to an analysis of survey data published in Context, a journal of the American Sociological Association, more girls are prolonging sexual abstinence and influencing boys to do the same.

“Guys are becoming more … tolerant, patient and aware of the fact that there are girls who don’t want to have sex and that the pressure is not going to change their minds,” Kristen Baker says.

“By doing that, they learn that you’re serious, so they take you more serious and you gain their respect, and you respect them for respecting you,” adds Courtney McIntosh.

The study’s findings reveal that girls are even becoming more outspoken about who they are and what they want.

“Girls are starting to watch programs that empower them, that say, ‘Hey, it’s OK to be free to respect your body, to respect yourself,’ and I think they’re also becoming more aware that not everyone is having sex,” says Sharina Prince, a health educator.

And sex isn’t the only area where girls are drawing the line.

“We don’t just go along with whatever, and we speak our minds more instead of just letting someone else tell us what to do about everything, what to wear, what we should do, who we should hang out with,” Courtney says.

Experts say that parents can play a key role in helping their teens make positive health decisions by giving them two powerful weapons: self confidence and knowledge.

“In developing or establishing a really positive relationship so that the teen feels empowered and feels like they understand, have an understanding about sexuality education,” Prince advises.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Sue Scheff: Girls and Sex




"It might be hard the first couple of times, but after you keep that standard for yourself all the time, then others will learn to accept it."-Tasleem Jadabji, a teen-


At parties, in school parking lots or when they’re just hanging out, girls are often pressured by boys to “fool around” and have sex. But now more than ever, girls are gaining the confidence to answer their male counterparts with a resounding “no.” “It might be hard the first couple of times, but after you keep that standard for yourself all the time, then others will learn to accept it,” says Tasleem Jadabji, a teen. “Just standing up for yourself over time will help give you that confidence,” adds her friend, Shoba Reddy-Holdcraft.


According to an analysis of survey data published in Context, a journal of the American Sociological Association, more girls are prolonging sexual abstinence and influencing boys to do the same. “Guys are becoming more … tolerant, patient and aware of the fact that there are girls who don’t want to have sex and that the pressure is not going to change their minds,” Kristen Baker says.


“By doing that, they learn that you’re serious, so they take you more serious and you gain their respect, and you respect them for respecting you,” adds Courtney McIntosh. The study’s findings reveal that girls are even becoming more outspoken about who they are and what they want. “Girls are starting to watch programs that empower them, that say, ‘Hey, it’s OK to be free to respect your body, to respect yourself,’ and I think they’re also becoming more aware that not everyone is having sex,” says Sharina Prince, a health educator.


And sex isn’t the only area where girls are drawing the line. “We don’t just go along with whatever, and we speak our minds more instead of just letting someone else tell us what to do about everything, what to wear, what we should do, who we should hang out with,” Courtney says.


Experts say that parents can play a key role in helping their teens make positive health decisions by giving them two powerful weapons: self confidence and knowledge. “In developing or establishing a really positive relationship so that the teen feels empowered and feels like they understand, have an understanding about sexuality education,” Prince advises.

Setting Sexual Boundaries
By Kim Ogletree CWK Network, Inc.


Teenage girls who set the sexual boundaries in a relationship may be a growing trend, according to new research based on national surveys of the sexual habits of teens. The study, published in the American Sociological Association’s journal Context, reveals that girls are convincing more boys to prolong sexual abstinence until they are in a serious relationship. Study co-author Barbara Risman, a sociologist at North Carolina State University, says that more boys are staying virgins longer and “starting their sex lives with their girlfriends.” “Girls have been able to create a sexual culture in high schools where the boys will be stigmatized if they’re ‘players,’” adds study co-author Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist at the University of Washington. The study’s findings, based on survey results compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, included the following statistics:


The percentage of sexually active black teens fell from 81.5% to 72.7% from 1991-1997.
Among whites, the number declined from 50.1% to 43.7%; among Latinos, the drop was 53.1% to 52.2%.


The number of high school boys under 18 who engaged in sexual activity dropped 5.7% from 1991 to 1997.


Teen pregnancy rates dropped 17% from 1990 to 1996.
Teen abortion rates dropped 16% from 1990 to 1995.


So why are more teens waiting longer to have sex? Some experts believe that girls are becoming increasingly aware of the risks involved in sexual activity – including pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) – due to abstinent campaigns and a surge in positive messages about self-esteem. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services cites these additional statistics and facts that may help curb teenage sexual activity:


More than 1 million teens become pregnant each year.
Young girls have more problems during pregnancy.
Babies of young, teen mothers are more likely to be born with serious health problems.
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are at epidemic levels.


Some STDs are incurable. They may cause pain, sterility or sometimes even death.

What Parents Need to Know


While it is important to talk with children about sex and sexuality, parents are often unsure of how to begin such open communication. Children Now and the Kaiser Family Foundation offer these tips for having a positive conversation with your child about sexual relationships:
Explore your own attitudes: Studies show that children who feel they can talk with their parents about sex are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior as teens than children who do not feel they can talk with their parents about the subject. Explore your own feelings about sex. If you are very uncomfortable with the subject, read some books and discuss your feelings with a trusted friend, relative, physician or clergy member. The more you examine the subject, the more confident you’ll feel discussing it.


Start early: Teaching your child about sex demands a gentle, continuous flow of information that should begin as early as possible. As your child grows, you can continue his or her education by adding more materials gradually until he or she understands the subject well.


Take the initiative: If your child hasn’t started asking questions about sex, look for a good opportunity to bring up subject.


Talk about more than the “birds and the bees”: While children need to know the biological facts about sex, they also need to understand that sexual relationships involve caring, concern and responsibility. By discussing the emotional aspect of a sexual relationship with your child, he or she will be better informed to make decisions later on and to resist peer pressure.


Give accurate, age-appropriate information: Talk about sex in a way that fits the age and stage of your child.


Communicate your values: It’s your responsibility to let your child know your values about sex. Although he or she may not adopt these values as he or she matures, at least your child will be aware of them as he or she struggles to figure out how he or she feels and wants to behave.
Relax: Don’t worry about knowing all of the answers to your child’s questions. What you know is a lot less important than how you respond. If you can convey the message that no subject, including sex, is forbidden in your home, you’ll be doing just fine.


According to the American Medical Association (AMA), teens who have high self-esteem and self-respect make more responsible health choices. As a parent, you can help your teen develop respect in the following ways:


Allow your teen to voice opinions.
Allow your teen to be involved in family decisions.
Listen to your teen’s opinions and feelings.
Help your teen set realistic goals.
Show faith in your teen’s ability to reach those goals.
Give unconditional love.


Whether your child is thinking about having sex or engaging in other risky behaviors, you can take steps to help him or her make an informed decision. By following these tips from the AMA, your child will realize that you want to help:


Allow your teen to describe the problem or situation. Ask how he or she feels about the problem. Ask questions that avoid “yes” or “no” responses. These usually begin with “how,” “why” or “what.” Really listen to what your teen is saying, instead of thinking about your response. Try to put yourself in your teen’s shoes to understand his or her thoughts.


Talk with your teen about choices. Teens sometimes believe they don’t have choices. Help your teen to see alternatives.


Help your teen to identify and compare the possible consequences of all of the choices. Ask your teen to consider how the results of the decision will affect his or her goals. Explain (without lecturing) the consequences of different choices.

Resources
American Medical Association




Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teen Pregnancy


Source: KidsHealth
Can a girl get pregnant if she has sex during her period?
– Jamie*

A lot of people think that if a girl has sex during her period, she can't get pregnant. But it is possible for a girl to get pregnant while she is bleeding. This can happen for a couple of reasons:

Not all vaginal bleeding is the result of a menstrual period. Sometimes a girl will have a small amount of vaginal bleeding at the time of ovulation — the time when she is most fertile. During ovulation, an egg is released from one of the ovaries and travels down a fallopian tube to the uterus. It's common for girls who are ovulating to have some vaginal bleeding that can be mistaken for a period.

Sometimes ovulation can occur before the bleeding from a girl's period has stopped, or it may occur within a few days after her period is over. Sperm can fertilize an egg for several days after ejaculation. So in both cases, having sex before the period is finished can result in pregnancy.
Having unprotected sex at any time is very risky. Along with the chance of becoming pregnant, there is also the risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), such as chlamydia, genital warts, or HIV. The only surefire way to prevent pregnancy and STDs is abstinence. If you do have sex, use a condom every time to protect against STDs. And talk to your doctor about additional forms of contraception.

For more information, check out these articles:

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Power Moms


I love stumbling over great new parenting websites - and what a name - Power Moms Unite - Founder, Candace McLane offer a wide variety of articles, thoughts, tips, parenting resources and more on ADHD. As a mother of an ADHD son, I really enjoy this site. Check her Blog out too - great up to date info!



Power Moms are moms working to successfully balance the needs of child, family, and self. Some work outside the home, balancing a career with the needs of their child, family and personal self. Other moms are working from home, managing families while managing a small home-based business or managing large families and a homeschool. There are a wide range of us- all power moms- looking to do our best at our many hats as mom- be that nuturer, coach, educator, cheerleader, psychologist, disciplinarian, party arranger, role-model, etc. The roles are vast and numerous, the balance often difficult to strike. This site hopes to empower these moms by providing timely, valuable and informative resources for celebrating family life and successfully managing ADHD.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teen Pregnancy


Teen birth rates up? Parents need to take steps to learn why - what can they do to help their young teens understand having a child is not easy. Before you are faced with this difficult and sensitive situations, continue opening communication about sex as well as contraceptives. Years ago a young teen getting pregnant seemed like the worst possible situation - now having unprotected sex can not only lead to pregnancy and big decisions for young teens, but deadly diseases. Take time to learn more.



“It does give them another way to look at themselves, and to look at their bodies as a powerful force and not just sort of ornamental.”
– Laura Mee, Ph.D., Child Psychologist.


One girl gives birth to a baby. Another plays basketball with her brother. What’s the connection?
Studies show girls who play sports are less likely to have sex and less likely to get pregnant. One reason may be these athletes gain confidence and respect for their bodies.


“It does give them another way to look at themselves, and to look at their bodies as a powerful force and not just sort of ornamental,” explains child psychologist, Dr. Laura Mee.


Experts say experiencing pressure on the court gives them the strength to resist pressure from a boyfriend. And, in their free time, it gives them something else to focus on besides how they look, “Their hair, their clothes, their, like reputation… mostly all they want to do is impress the boys,” says 12-year-old Claire.


What’s more, studies have found that athletic girls have higher self-esteem, better grades and less stress.


So, experts say, encourage your daughters to get involved in sports and then cheer them on. “Make it as important that your daughters have sporting events as you would for your son that you treat them as equally as you possibly can, that you support and encourage and that the other children, whether they are male or female, support and encourage each other in their sports activities,” says Mee.

Tips for Parents


Sex is something parents should constantly discuss with their teens, but you should really give your teens “the talk” before summer and Christmas vacation. According to one study, teens are much more likely to lose their virginity during the months of June and December than any other time of the year. Almost 19,000 adolescents in grades seven through twelve participated in the survey, which identified the month they had sexual intercourse for the first time. The survey also asked if the act was with a romantic partner or was more “casual.”


The findings, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, show June as the most popular month, followed closely by December. Summer and Christmas vacations are believed to be the cause with school out and teens with time on their hands. More events are also planned in June, including high school proms, graduations and summertime parties. The “holiday season effect” makes December the second highest month for teen sex. Experts explained that during the holidays, young females in relationships are more likely to have sex. The holidays usually bring people together and make them closer. The same is true with teenagers.


All studies indicate messages from parents regarding sex are extremely important to teens (Washington State Department of Health). In fact, teens state parents as their number one resource for information on the topic. This talk may be uncomfortable for many parents, so the National Parent Teacher Association (PTA) has provided the following tips for parents:


Practice. It may take practice to feel comfortable talking about sex with your kids. Rehearsing with a friend or partner can help. Be honest. Admit to your child if talking about sex is not easy for you. You might say, “I wish I’d talked with you about sex when you were younger, but I found it difficult and kept putting it off. My parents never talked to me about it, and I wish they had.”


Pay attention. Often parents do not talk to their teens about sex because they did not notice they wanted or needed information. Not all teens ask direct questions. Teenagers are often unwilling to admit they do not know everything. Notice what is going on with your child and use that as a basis for starting a conversation about sexual topics.


Look for chances to discuss the sexual roles and attitudes of men and women with your child. Use television show, ads and articles as a start.


Listen. When you give your full attention, you show that you respect your child’s thoughts and feelings. Listening also gives you a chance to correct wrong information they may have gotten from friends. As you listen, be sensitive to unasked questions. “My friend Mary is going out on a real date,” could lead to a discussion of how to handle feelings about touching and kissing.
Parents can also share their feelings on the topic through words and actions. The best way is to talk to teens. Even though it may seem like they are not listening – they are. To have a healthy and effective discussion on sex, the Advocates for Youth Campaign encourages parents to:
Educate yourself and talk with your children about issues of sexuality. Do not forget about discussing the importance of relationships, love, and commitment.


Discuss explicitly with preadolescents and teens the value of delaying sexual initiation and the importance of love and intimacy as well as of safer sex and protecting their health.


Encourage strong decision-making skills by providing youth with age-appropriate opportunities to make decisions and to experience the consequences of those decisions. Allow young people to make mistakes and encourage them to learn from them.


Encourage teens to create a resource list of organizations to which they can turn for assistance with sexual health, and other, issues. Work together to find books and Web sites that offer accurate information.


Actively support comprehensive sexuality education in the schools. Find out what is being taught about sexuality, who is teaching it, and what your teens think about it.


Actively voice your concerns if the sexuality education being taught in local public schools is biased, discriminatory, or inaccurate, has religious content, or promotes a particular creed or denomination.


Demonstrate unconditional love and respect for your children.

References
Advocates for Youth Campaign
Journal of Marriage and Family
National Parent Teacher Association
Washington State Department of Health

Friday, January 2, 2009

Sue Scheff: Where Do Teens Turn for Medical Advice


Source: Connect with Kids

“I had irritation in my special ‘no-no’ place. And that was a question that I wasn’t going to ask my mom.”

– Sheaele, Age 17

So where do teenagers like Sheaele turn when they want a health question answered? Sometimes friends, sometimes teachers… and according to a new survey, nearly half of teens are now going to the Internet to look for medical information.

“If it was a personal problem that I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anybody about, I would probably just look it up online,” says 18-year-old Joe.

But the information teens find on web sites may not always be accurate. Experts say to help a child avoid bad information, parents should do their own search of teen-friendly medical web sites.

Check them out. Then suggest the ones you like to your teen.

“Internet sites that do that, just give clear health information … I think that would be probably a good idea,” says Dr. Dawn Swaby-Ellis, a pediatrician.

But experts have an even better idea for parents: Find a real-life doctor their teen can trust.

“The best guarantee for growing up a healthy, secure, communicative adolescent is for that adolescent to have a constant relationship with a health practitioner over time,” says Dr. Swaby-Ellis.

Because while a doctor can promise teens the privacy they want, unlike the Internet, a doctor can also alert parents in the case of a serious health issue.

“If there’s anything at all that we hear, during an interview with a child alone that sounds like they’re in trouble,” says Swaby-Ellis, then we’ll certainly let (the parent) know.”

Tips for Parents
Previous studies have found that over 60 million Americans use the Internet for health and medical information. Teens make up a sizeable portion of this number; the Project estimates 45% of all children under the age of 18 have Internet access.

Health-related web sites that targeted teens are appearing on the Internet. Sites such as:


iEmily.com
Zaphealth
THINK (Teenage Health Interactive Network)
Teen Growth
These sites are like interactive magazines written specifically for teens. Headlines from a recent ZapHealth page include: “My Friend's Acne” and “Guilt about Drinking.” Other topics on the site include “getting the dirt on important issues like kissing, piercing and buying condoms.”

In addition to articles, these web sites offer:


Information and advice on general, sexual and emotional health
Information on fitness and sports
Family issues
Chat rooms where teens can talk with others with similar concerns
Bulletin boards where teens can post questions and receive answers from health care professionals
Links to other resources

It’s easy, quick and convenient. An added appeal of these sites is that teens can get information anonymously, without having to talk to anyone. The Pew Project says that 16% of web health seekers do so to get information about a sensitive health topic that is difficult to talk about.

Although a teen can get answers to some questions on these sites, the sites caution teens that they are not a substitute for regular healthcare; teens should see their healthcare providers as needed.

ZapHealth also urges children under 18 to talk with their parents or guardians about any health or emotional issues.


References
The Pew Internet and American Life Project
ZapHealth