Sue Scheff - Teen Sex, Teen Pregnancy, Social Networking and Parenting

The news today? Teens floating photo's of themselves in their birthday suits, well, more or less. It seems more and more teens are not thinking about the consequences of sending questionable photos through email, texting, social networks etc. Parents need to explain to their child that placing such pictures may potentially cause them "not" to be accepted at a college or not get a job. More and more college admissions offices and potential employee's are Surfing the Net to find out more information on applicants. What you post today, may haunt you tomorrow!

With all the discussions around the nude pictures - it brings up another concern - does this mean your teen is being recognized as a sex object? Does it say he or she is "easy"?

Many people will ask, "where are the parents?", however it is almost impossible to monitor your teen 24/7, especially Online. As parents and adults everywhere, we need to tell our kids how this can harm them in the future. Their BFF today - may be their enemy next summer! Then where will those photos end up?
Keep informed - stay up to date with information for parents and teens.

Visit The National Campaign to Help Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Sue Scheff - Teenage Pregnancy

For parents, a teenage daughter becoming pregnant is a nightmare situation.

Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States. That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact! Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.

If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.

Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.™) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!

We have created this website as a reference for parents dealing with teenage pregnancy in hope that we can help you through the situation and make the best decisions.

Please visit our website, Help Your Teens, for more information as well as support.

Learn more - click here.

Sue Scheff: Sex on TV linked to teen pregnancy: study

WASHINGTON (AFP) — A study published Monday claimed it had established for the first time a link between TV programs with sexual content and teenage pregnancies.

Researchers interviewed 2,000 adolescents aged 12 to 17 three times between 2001 and 2004 and found that those with the highest exposure to sex on television were twice as likely to be involved in a pregnancy than those with the least exposure.

"Adolescents receive a considerable amount of information about sex through television and that programming typically does not highlight the risks and responsibilities of sex," said Anita Chandra, the lead author and a behavioral scientist at RAND, the nonprofit research organization that funded the study.

"Our findings suggest that television may play a significant role in the high rates of teenage pregnancy in the United States," she said.

Researchers said the study demonstrated that programs with sexual content create the perception there is little risk of sex without contraception.

By the third interview, 744 of the 2,000 teenagers in the survey said they had engaged in sexual intercourse and 718 of the youths shared with RAND information about their pregnancy histories.

Of that group, 91 teens -- 58 girls and 33 boys -- were involved in a pregnancy.

The rate of teenage pregnancies has increased for the first time in 15 years, measuring 41.9 births per 1,000 Americans aged 15 to 19 years in 2006, according to the Center for Prevention and Disease Control (CDC).

"The amount of sexual content on television has doubled in recent years, and there is little representation of safer sex practices in those portrayals," said Chandra.

The findings have implications for broadcasters, parents and health care providers, she added.

The US has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates among industrialized nations, with nearly one million adolescent females becoming pregnant each year, with the majority of these pregnancies unplanned, according to RAND.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff: Teen Sex and Depression

Source: Connect with Kids

“It hurts, because I care so much about him.”

– Teagan, 15 years old

Fifteen-year-old Teagan says her new boyfriend is wonderful. “I never thought anyone like Preston could come along,” Teagan says. “He’s the greatest guy I’ve ever known.”

But is she as lucky as she thinks?

Studies show that romantic involvement brings adolescents down, rather than up. What’s more, researchers at the University of North Carolina find that teen girls who are sexually active are twice as likely to be depressed compared to girls not having sex.

But, even among abstinent teens who date, one of the problems is trust.

“Say your boyfriend went off to work and never called you that day,” Teagan says. “And you talked every single day on the phone. I mean you’d be kind of concerned and kind of wondering why. And then someone comes along and says ‘well maybe he’s cheating on you…’”

Combine adolescent insecurity with imagination and the result is a lot of questions: Where is he? Why doesn’t she call? Does he really like me? Why is she talking to that other boy?

That’s where most of the stress comes in,” Teagan says. “Getting thoughts in your head about what might be going on, when it probably isn’t going on at all.”

Experts say parents can help ease their child’s pain by listening and taking them seriously. It’s not puppy love to them, it’s real. “It hurts,” Teagan says, “because I care so much about him.”

Experts also advise teaching your child that early relationships may hurt, but they’re indispensable. “They will have many relationships before they finally settle on a life mate,” says Cheryl Benefield, a school counselor. “Let them know that when things happen, it’s maybe just preparing them for a better relationship in the future.”

Tips for Parents
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, boys and girls seem to be equally at risk for depressive disorders during childhood, but during adolescence, girls are twice as likely as boys to develop depression. Family history and stress are listed as factors, but another factor that often causes depression in girls is the break-up of a romantic relationship.

The authors of a study conducted at Cornell University titled “You Don’t Bring Me Anything but Down: Adolescent Romance and Depression,” found that females become “more depressed than males in adolescence partly as a consequence of their involvement in romantic relationships.” The reason? According to the study, “females’ greater vulnerability to romantic involvement explains a large part of the emerging sex difference in depression during adolescence.”

At any given time, five percent of children suffer from depression. Children under stress, who have experienced a loss, or who suffer from other disorders are at a higher risk for depression. Here are some signs of depression from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (if one or more of these signs of depression persist, parents should seek help):

Frequent sadness, tearfulness, crying
Hopelessness
Decreased interest in activities, or inability to enjoy previously favorite activities
Persistent boredom; low energy
Social isolation, poor communication
Low self-esteem and guilt
Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure
Increased irritability, anger or hostility
Difficulty with relationships
Frequent complaints of physical illnesses such as headaches and stomachaches
Frequent absences from school or poor performance in school
Poor concentration
A major change in eating and/or sleeping patterns
Talk of or efforts to run away from home
Thoughts or expressions of suicide or self destructive behavior
Getting an early diagnosis and medical treatment are critical for depressed children.

Depression is a serious condition, which, if left untreated, can even become life threatening. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, leading to nearly 4,000 deaths a year. The rate has tripled since 1960. Therapy can help teenagers understand why they are depressed and learn how to handle stressful situations. Treatment may consist of individual, group or family counseling. Medications prescribed by a psychiatrist may be needed to help teens feel better.

Ways of treating depression include:

Psychotherapy: to explore events and feelings that are painful and troubling. Psychotherapy also teaches coping skills.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy: to help teens change negative patterns of thinking and behaving.
Interpersonal therapy: to focus on ways of developing healthier relationships at home and school.
Medication: to relieve some symptoms of depression (often prescribed along with therapy).
References
Journal of Health and Social Behavior
National Institute of Mental Health
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
National Mental Health Association
University of North Carolina

Parents Universal Resource Experts - About Birth Control: What Parents Need to Know

Source: The Nemours Foundation

One of the toughest decisions that a lot of teens face is whether to have sex. Teens who decide to become sexually active must also take responsibility to stay protected from unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

In the United States, the teenage pregnancy rate is higher than in many other countries. Approximately 1 million teen girls become pregnant every year and most of them don't intend to. In addition to preventing unplanned pregnancies, sexually active teens must protect themselves from STDs — which means that condoms must be used every time.

The most effective method of birth control is abstinence, which means no sexual intercourse. Abstinence is the only way that couples can be 100% sure they will not have to deal with pregnancy or STDs.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has said that sex education that includes information about abstinence and birth control is the most effective way to keep down the rate of teen pregnancy.

As a parent, you play a key role in this education. It's important that your kids feel, from a young age, that they can come to you with a question about sexuality, no matter what it is. It helps if you treat sexuality as a natural part of development, not something dirty or embarrassing.

Providing the facts is vital, but it's also wise to give your kids a sense of where you stand. Teens, especially, may seem uninterested in your views on sex and birth control, or even your values in general, but they usually take in more than you think.

At times, kids may not feel comfortable approaching parents with questions about sexuality. That's OK. But it's important that they have a trusted adult — like a teacher, school counselor, school nurse, or doctor — to talk with about birth control and other issues related to sex.

Birth Control Methods

Couples who do choose to have sex have many effective birth control methods to choose from. Check out the articles below to learn important facts about these different options. You may be surprised — some popular ones aren't as effective as many people think:

Abstinence
Birth control patch
Birth control pill
Birth control ring
Birth control shot
Cervical cap
Condoms
Diaphragm
Emergency contraception (morning-after pill)
IUD
Rhythm method
Spermicide
Withdrawal

Reviewed by: Larissa Hirsch, MDDate reviewed: January 2007
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Tips for When Your Child Starts Dating

Source: OneToughJob

Your Child's Behavior at 12 -15 years old

As your child moves from childhood into the teenage years, she will encounter many social and cultural challenges. It is an exciting time and yet a scary time for your child. As she moves more toward independence, she will be convinced she knows everything, you know nothing and you were literally born yesterday. In fact, at this time, she needs you more than ever. By knowing what to expect at this stage of your child's life, you are better equipped to interact effectively with her. By communicating clearly with your child and listening to what she has to say and the emotions she is expressing, you can help your child through this stage.

Tips for Dating

1.Talk with your child about what she hopes for from dating and from relationships.
2.Let her know your concerns and hopes for her as she goes out on dates.
3.Know who your child is hanging out with and dating.
4.Talk with the parents of those kids.
5.Set clear rules about who can be with her in your home when there are no adults present.
6.Teach manners and how to be respectful of others.
7.Let your child know she can always call home if she is uncomfortable or feels worried.
8.Tell your child to have fun—dating should be fun.

Sue Scheff: Parent-Teen Sex Talk

Source: Connect with Kids

“I always get a little bit nervous because I always worry about what they might ask me about my own life.”

– Judy Crim, Mother

When 12-year-old Sean Crim has a question about sex he asks his mother. “I would probably rather get information about sex from my parents. They always tell me the truth and they’ve never really lied to me about anything,” he says.

But for his mom, talking about sex isn’t easy. “I always get a little bit nervous because I always worry about what they might ask me about my own life,” says Judy Crim.

It’s an issue for lots of parents. If your children ask about your life before marriage, how would you answer? Sean’s mom says it’s happened to her.

Judy says, “We talk about what was going on when I was a teenager, what teenagers were actively doing. And they’ll say mom did you do any of that?”

It’s an awkward question. Experts say if you are too uncomfortable…you don’t have to answer.

Leola Reis of Planned Parenthood says, “They are still the parent and some of that is not really appropriate. I don’t think you need to lie, I think you can withhold that information. ‘This conversation is not really about me and what I did. It’s what my hopes are for you. And let me tell you some of the things I’ve learned.’”

But if you decide to talk about your past, experts say don’t lie, and remember that you don’t have to say too much. Reis suggests sentences like ”I’m not really comfortable with some of the things I did as a young person.’”

Still, your past can be a lesson for kids about avoiding mistakes. Judy Crim says, “I can also offer them if I made a choice to do something, what regret did I have to live with? What guilt do I have to live with? And how did that affect my life?”

Tips for Parents

Recent studies have shown a decrease in the prevalence of many sexual behaviors among high school students throughout the United States, including sexual intercourse. Further, studies from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show the percentage of sexually active students who used a condom at last intercourse continued to increase.

Even though the number of sexually active teens is in decline, the percentage of sexually active teens is still alarming. Consider the following statistics taken from a recent Youth Risk Behavior Survey:

Nationwide, 47.8% of students had ever had sexual intercourse (Table 61). Overall, the prevalence of having had sexual intercourse was higher among male (49.8%) than female (45.9%) students; higher among black male (72.6%) and Hispanic male (58.2%) than black female (60.9%) and Hispanic female (45.8%) students, respectively; and higher among 9th-grade male (38.1%) than 9th-grade female (27.4%) students.
7.1% of students had had sexual intercourse for the first time before age 13 years
14.9% of students had had sexual intercourse with four or more persons during their life
35.0% of students had had sexual intercourse with at least one person during the 3 months before the survey
Among the 35.0% of currently sexually active students nationwide, 61.5% reported that either they or their partner had used a condom during last sexual intercourse
Open communication and accurate information from parents increase the chance that teens will postpone sex. According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, in talking with your child or adolescent, it is helpful to:

Encourage your child to talk and ask questions.
Maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for discussions.
Use words that are understandable and comfortable.
Try to determine your child’s level of knowledge and understanding.
Keep your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to talk about your own discomfort.
Relate sex to love, intimacy, caring and respect for oneself and one’s partner.
Be open in sharing your values and concerns.
Discuss the importance of responsibility for choices and decisions.
Help your child to consider the pros and cons of choices.
By developing open, honest and ongoing communication about responsibility, sex and choice, parents can help their youngsters learn about sex in a healthy and positive manner.

References
Centers for Disease Control & Prevention
American Social Health Association
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

Is Teen Pregnancy on the Rise? by Sue Scheff

Teenage Pregnancy

Every year approximately 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States. This is roughly 1/3 of the age group’s population, a startling fact. Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mother will not graduate high school. Many young teen girls that are suffering with low self worth or feelings of not being loved believe that having a baby will give them a purpose in life. Unfortunately they are not looking at the whole picture and the reality of raising a child.

These girls are not emotionally prepared to make such a major decision in their young life – yet many are in this situation. As a parent, we need to keep the lines of communication open, as hard as that is, it is necessary.

If you are parent who recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and very serious time in both of you and your daughter’s life.

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a parent. You can and will make it through this as a family.

For more information on Teen Pregnancy visit http://www.sue-scheff.org/ .

Teen Pregnacy Options

Teenage Preganancy: Options

Most teenage girls have been through at least one sexual education class and know their three basic options for the pregnancy. As a parent, it is important to understand these choices and learn as much as possible about each as so that you can offer her advice. Many times, a conversation between mother and daughter brings up important ideas about each option that the other had not thought of.

Here we link you to informative sites about each option:

Becoming A Parent
Abortion
Adoption

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Talking the Talk - Discussing Sex with your kids

Discussing sex with your tweens and teens can help them make better choices. Here's how.

Temma Ehrenfeld
Newsweek Web Exclusive
Updated: 10:28 AM ET Jul 31, 2008

What kids think about sex might surprise you, but what they're doing sexually—and when they're doing it—might surprise you even more. In a study this year of more than a 1,000 tweens (kids between the ages 11 and 14), commissioned by Liz Claiborne Inc. and loveisrespect.org, nearly half said they'd had a boy- or girlfriend, and one in four said that oral sex or going "all the way" is part of a tween romance. The parents' view? Only 7 percent of parents surveyed in this study think their own child has gone any further than "making out."
The whole subject of sex is so delicate that some parents put off talking to kids about it, believing their child is still too young, or because they're not sure what to say.

They "finally sit down to have the Big Talk," says Dr. Mark Schuster, chief of general pediatrics at Children's Hospital Boston, "and it turns out their teen is already having sex." (The average age of first intercourse in the United States is 16, according to the Centers for Disease Control)The good news is that there's plenty of evidence indicating that kids whose parents do discuss sex with them are more cautious than their peers—more likely to put off sex or use contraception.

They also have fewer partners. Coaching for parents helps, as well. Parents who participated in a training program about how to have those difficult conversations, Schuster reports, were six times more likely than a control group to have discussed condoms with their children. So what did the parents learn? Here are nine "talking sex" tips:

1. Find the moment. Instead of saying "it's time to talk about you-know," let the topic arise naturally—say, during a love scene in a video, or while passing a couple on a park bench. It helps to think about opening lines in advance.

2. Don't be vague about your own feelings. You know you don't want your ninth grader getting pregnant, but is oral sex OK? How do you feel about your daughter going steady or dating several boys casually? Consider the messages you want your kids to hear.

3. Anticipate the roadblocks that a teen or tween might set up. If they tend to say "uh huh," try asking open-ended questions or suggesting a variety of possible ways someone might feel in a relevant situation.

4. Be a good listener. Avoid lecturing and don't interrupt once your child opens up. Restate in your own words what you hear and identify feelings.

5. Help your child consider the pros and cons of sexual choices.

6. Relate sex and physical intimacy to love, caring and respect for themselves and their partner.

7. Teach strategies to manage sexual pressure. It may not be obvious to your daughter that she can suggest going to the movies or a restaurant instead of lounging with her boyfriend on a sofa without adult supervision. Or she may not know she can set and stick to a clear rule (such as no touching below the waist). Discuss the fact that "no means no." A simple strategy like getting up and going to the bathroom can give a girl time to regroup.

8. Don't be afraid to get down to specifics. If your teenage daughter or son is spending every afternoon alone with a main squeeze, and you're simply hoping they're using condoms, go ahead and ask whether they are sexually active and using birth control. You can buy a box of condoms and talk about how to use them—practice on a cucumber. A good laugh won't hurt your relationship.

9. Make the conversation ongoing—not a talk that happens once or twice. For more tips on talking to kids about sex and other sensitive issues, visit Children Now, a nonprofit nonpartisan organization's guide to talking to kids of all ages about sexual subjects. Or The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry's "Facts for Families."

Teen Dating Violence

Source: Connect with Kids

“I’ve never had one guy come into my life that hasn’t hurt me.”

– Jenny, 18 years old

Jenny, 18, has been hurt as many times as she’s been in love. At age 13, her boyfriend was physically abusive.

“He grabbed me by my neck one time, and I had fingerprints, bruising,” she explains.

Later, Jenny dated Mateo.

“He promised me, he said I promise you, I’ll never hurt you like they did,” Jenny says tearfully.

“And I promised her that, but I didn’t keep my promise,” Mateo, 17, admits. “Verbal abuse, emotional. You name it,” he says.

Research in the Journal of American Medicine finds that 42% of teens have been the victim of dating violence. 17% have been the perpetrator.

“Violent activity and dating violence begins early in adolescence; you know, begins when dating begins,” says psychiatrist Dr. Lynn Ponton, author of a book about the dating lives of teenagers.

She says too often kids are so excited to have their first boyfriend or girlfriend that they rush into a relationship. They become intimate too soon, before they even really get to know each other. By the time they know their partner is abusive, a lot of damage is already done.

Other research shows that girls in violent dating relationships are more likely to experiment with drugs, develop eating disorders and attempt suicide.

Experts say that parents must convince kids to slow down.

“By, I think, by actually setting up structures for kids to participate in where they get to know the people first before they’re off with them privately,” says Dr. David Fenstermaker, a clinical psychologist.

He suggests that group dates are safer. At the bowling alley, the water park or the ice rink, kids can get to know each other, and slowly discover what really lies in the heart of their date.

Tips for Parents

‘Dating violence’ may seem like a vague, murky term, but the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control defines ‘dating violence’ very specifically:

Dating Violence: “The perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member within the context of dating or courtship. This violence encompasses any form of sexual assault, physical violence, and verbal or emotional abuse.”

How often does dating violence happen? Estimates vary, but the NCIPC offers these statistics:

24% of 8th and 9th graders have been victims of nonsexual dating violence.
8% of 8th and 9th graders have been victims of sexual dating violence.

Among high school students, the average prevalence rate for nonsexual dating violence is 22%.
Among college students the rate is 32%.

27% of college females have been victims of rape or attempted rape since age 14.
Over half of 1,000 females at a large urban university surveyed said they had experienced some form of “unwanted sex.”

Women are 6 times more likely than men to experience violence at the hands of an intimate partner.
According to the Massachusetts Department of Education, teen dating violence follows a pattern which is similar to adult domestic violence. The major elements of this pattern are:

Violence that affects people from all socio-economic, racial and ethnic groups.

Repeated violence that escalates.

Violence that increases in severity the longer the relationship continues.
Violence and abusive behaviors are interchanged with apologies and promises to change.
Increase danger for the victim when trying to terminate the relationship.
Occurrence in heterosexual and gay and lesbian relationships.
How can you tell if your teenager may be suffering from dating violence? Here are some signs from the Massachusetts Department of Education.

Is your child involved with someone who:

Is overly possessive and demonstrating a real need to control
Is jealous to the extreme point where it becomes an obsession
Is into controlling your child’s everyday events
Is prone to violent outbursts
Is a person who has a history of poor relationships
Is infringing upon your child’s freedom to make choices for himself/herself
Is limiting the time your child spends with other people
Is using external pressure to influence decision making
Is into passing blame and denying their own mistakes
Is in the habit of using put downs or playing mind games
Is not a person who can be disagreed with easily
Is encouraging your child to keep secrets
Is causing your child to become more withdrawn

And for teenagers trying to get out of a violent relationship, the following advice from the Boulder (CO) Police Department:

Tell your parents, a friend, a counselor, a clergyman, or someone else whom you trust and who can help.

The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
Alert the school counselor or security officer. Keep a daily log of the abuse.

Do not meet your partner alone.
Do not let him or her in your home or car when you are alone.
Avoid being alone at school, your job, on the way to and from places.
Tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.
Plan and rehearse what you would do if your partner became abusive.

References
National Center for Injury Protection and Control
Massachusetts Department of Education
Boulder (CO) Police Department
Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia

Teen Pregnancy

Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States. That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact! Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.

If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.

Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.™) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!

We have created this website as a reference for parents dealing with teenage pregnancy in hope that we can help you through the situation and make the best decisions.

Learn more about Teen Pregnancy.

Sue Scheff: Learn More About Social Workers

Every social worker is uniquely qualified to help people right in their own environment, by looking at all the different aspects of their life and culture. We work to ensure your personal well-being, prevent crises and to counsel individuals, families, and communities. We make sure people get the help they need, from the best resources available. And for more than 100 years, we’ve been doing just that.

Visit: http://www.helpstartshere.org/about_social_workers.html

Sue Scheff: Teen Pregnancy

Learn more about Teen Pregnancy and the growing concerns parents have today.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Pregnancy is on the Rise

Many people have seen the recent news stories on the 17 girls in MA that made a pact to get pregnant and succeeded. The Boston Globe article details this distressing situation.

The National Campaign seeks to improve the well-being of children, youth, families, and the nation by preventing unplanned and teen pregnancy. Take a moment to visit this website of educational resources.

***********************************

For parents, a teenage daughter becoming pregnant is a nightmare situation.

Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States. That is roughly 1/3 of the age group’s population, a startling fact! Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.

If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters’ life.

Our organization, Parent’s Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.™) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!

We have created this website as a reference for parents dealing with teenage pregnancy in hope that we can help you through the situation and make the best decisions.

Sue Scheff: Tough Talks with your Teen

By Shoulder to Shoulder

It’s not easy talking about sex, drugs, gangs and violence with our teens. But it’s a “must do.” Here are a few pointers and tips for talking with teens about the very real issues they face.

Timing is Everything

Know that teens will catch us off guard when they decide to ask questions about sex or other “tough” topics. Resist the urge to flee. Try saying, “I’m glad you came to me with that question.” This gives us time to think of a response, and will let teens know they can come to parents for advice. It’s important to answer the question right away, rather than put off a teen by saying something like - “you’re too young to know that!” Chances are, the subject has already come up at school and they’re already getting “advice” from their friends. When teens ask questions, look at it as an opportunity to help them learn by sharing our thoughts.

Practice Makes Perfect

As parents, anticipation is our best friend. Anticipate what teens’ questions may be about sex, drugs or alcohol, then think about your responses ahead of time. What to say? It’s different for each family, but become familiar with typical questions and behaviors that occur during the teen years. Do a little digging around popular teen Web sites to find out what’s hot in a teen’s world.

Is It Hot In Here?

If you’re feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable about a question your teen asks, say so. Acknowledging your own discomfort allows your kids to acknowledge theirs - and may make everyone feel a little less awkward all around. It’s also okay for parents to set limits. For example, you do not have to give specific answers about your own teen behaviors.

Read entire article here: http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Tough_Talks_your/

Sue Scheff: Is Your Child in Trouble?

Is Your Child in Trouble?

This article from the American Chronicle by Genae-Valecia Hinesman lists and details several signs that parents should watch out for, as they may indicate problems in your child's life. Many of these signals are also applicable for inhalant abuse, but this is a great article to read for any parent.

1. Erratic Behavior


"As young people carve out their own individuality separate from that of their parents´, and seek an answer to the proverbial question, "Who AM I?" they could clash more frequently with those around them. They may be happy one minute and sullen the next. Even this is normal. However, if your child starts reacting violently, either at home or at school, clearly something is seriously wrong."

2. Loss of Coordination, Glazed Eyes, Slurred Speech

"Without question, only two things can explain these symptoms. The first is that the person in question has suffered a stroke or a seizure. The second is that this person is inebriated. Both situations require immediate action. If your child is intoxicated, your first duty is to keep them from leaving the house until sober, for their own safety and the safety of others.

Once they are coherent, find out what they were taking and where they obtained it. If they were found unconscious, and taken to a hospital, medical testing will be able to provide a toxicology report. Encourage them to seek help, if addicted, and at least undergo counseling to learn how to avoid future dependency. Help in any way you can, but let them know that they must want to help themselves, in order to successfully change for the better."


3. Persistant Sadness and Withdrawel from Others

"Any child showing these signs for more than two weeks without interruption is clearly depressed. A change in eating habits and/or grooming has probably also been noticed. If so, something, or a combination of things, has triggered these changes. Your job is to find out what."

4. Honor Student to Dropout

"If your consistently top-notch student suddenly loses interest in school with grades in two or more classes plummeting, take heed! Straight A´s simply don´t turn into D´s overnight. Sit down with him or her and find out what´s happening in your child´s life.

Whatever it happens to be, let him or her know that you´re willing not only to help, but to listen as well. Refuse to accept "Leave me alone!" or "Nothing!" as acceptable answers. If they won´t talk to you, find another trusted adult with whom they will talk. Seek professional help if they need it."


5. Drastic Social Changes

"Friends and companions can and sometimes should, change a bit by the time your child leaves high school. Nevertheless, if your child´s associates suddenly are vastly different in negative ways from those they used to spend time with, this is usually a very bad sign. It´s even more telling if they now avoid or shun their old friends for no readily apparent reason."

6. Finding Unusual Possessions

"Discovering drugs, whether prescription, over-the-counter, or illegal narcotics that you had no idea that your child was using calls for immediate address. The same can be said for condoms, birth control devices, cigarettes, alcohol, and drug paraphernalia of any kind.

Recently, even glue, industrial products, and cleaning supplies have been used as inhalants (known among teens as "huffing") by kids seeking to get "high"-- often with fatal results. Finding these in your child´s room, pockets, or belongings is just as serious as finding a weapon. More than a red flag, this is a screaming siren!"


7. Legal Troubles

"Finally, if your child has been arrested at least once, this is clear indication that the situation is rapidly careening beyond the scope of your reach. By the time law enforcement becomes involved two or more times, your child has become society´s problem and the courts will soon decide his or her future.

Repeated run-ins with legal authorities can never be overlooked as "just a phase". There may still be hope, but only if drastic measures are taken and your child still cares enough to save himself or herself. Only so many chances are given to legal offenders. Don´t let time run out. Intervene while you still can."

These are all excellent points and can be of help to parents who ask, "is my kid abusing inhalants?" The warning signs are often subtle, but they are there.


http://www.inhalant.org/


http://www.helpyourteens.com/


http://www.witsendbook.com/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Alliance for Consumer Education

The Alliance for Consumer Education is eight years old today! Founded in 2000, ACE has achieved many goals and provided information on inhalant abuse to countless parents and educators. Have you checked out inhalant.org, or our Message Board? You can read the questions that others have or post one yourself.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) KidsHealth Educational Partner

KidsHealth offers a comprehensive website of articles, helpful tips for parenting, sound advice for teens and kids. Visit http://www.kidshealth.org/ to learn more.

Sue Scheff: Teens and Dating

Tips for Parents and Professionals

Author: Kate Fogarty Source: University of Florida IFAS Extension

Romantic Feelings of Teens: A Natural Process

Teens face strong pressures to date, as well as get involved in a romantic relationship1. A romantic relationship is one that invloves feelings of attraction–physical and friendship. In fact, over half of teens in the United States report dating regularly (casual dates with one or more partners at different times) whereas a third claim to have a steady dating (exclusive) partner2. Young teens usually hang out with peers who are the same gender as they are. As they reach the mid-teen years (age 14-15 years), they start having relationships with peers of the opposite sex3. Such relationships are likely to be friendships and/or physical attractions. Although most romantic relationships among 12- to 14-year-olds last less than 5 months, by age 16 relationships last an average of 2 years4. In the early teen years dating is more superficial–for fun and recreation, status among peers, and exploring attractiveness/sexuality. In the older teen years youth are looking for intimacy, companionship, affection, and social support.
Click here for the entire article.

Sue Scheff: How to talk to your kids about sex, drugs and alcohol

By ParentingMyTeen.com




These are subjects you’ll want to talk about with your children before there is a problem. As a family, you can establish boundaries and consequences and come to a common understanding of what is acceptable.Sex: According to Advocates for Youth, statistics indicate that children who talk to their parents about sex are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior, such as having sex without condoms.

70.6% of teens who reported they didn’t feel comfortable talking to their parents had sex by age 17-19. That compares to 57.9% of teens who reported a close relationship.

It’s true. Not talking to your children about sex isn’t that likely to keep them from doing it. But the opposite is also true. Talking to them about it, isn’t more likely to have them engaging in sexual activity. If it means having sexually active children behaving maturely, talking things out can only help keep our kids safer.

If you think your child is already having sex, chat with them about it. Don’t get angry, but approach it in a calm and reasonable manner. Talk to them about your experiences and be honest. If your child has a boyfriend/girlfriend and things seem to be getting serious, start the conversation if you haven’t already. Above all, make sure they are being safe.

Drugs & Alcohol: Many professionals agree that when parents talk to their kids about drugs and alcohol, those discussions are very likely to shape the child’s attitude about those subjects.

Before you talk to your kids - educate yourself. Check with your local school, library or even look online for the straight facts about drugs and alcohol. Simply telling your kids, “Drugs and alcohol are dangerous,” isn’t going to be as efficient as truly illustrating the very real dangers of substance abuse. Try not to lecture, listen to what your kids have to say and really talk about the issues.

As always, keep it casual. If you spend time with your teenagers and keep the lines of communication open, bringing up the subject is much easier.

Signs of Drug & Alcohol Use: Look out for these tell-tale signs that your child might be using drugs or alcohol:

• Loss of interest in family and other usual activities.
• Not living up to responsibilities.
• Verbally or physical abusiveness.
• Coming home late.
• Increased dishonesty.
• Declining grades.
• Severe mood swings.
• Big change in sleeping patterns..

Understand that a lot of the above signs, especially near the top of the list, could mean a multitude things. Teenagers who are depressed can act in similar ways. When approaching your child, don’t be accusatory. Try to connect with them and see what’s really happening in their lives.

Additional Resources:

Teen Addiction

This anthology presents an examination of the causes of teen addiction and various proposals to reduce or solve the problem, as well as the personal narratives of teens struggling to overcome their addictions.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Pregnancy

Learn more - click here.

Sue Scheff: Education.com

http://www.education.com/ is a website that offers parents a wide variety of information for parent from toddlers to teens!

Check it out and learn more about parenting your individual child.

The Teens Years (13-18)
The Middle Years (6-12)
The Early Years (3-5)

What is education.com?

Education.com is an online resource for parents with kids in preschool through grade 12.On our site you can:

Search over 4,000 reference articles from the best and most authoritative sources across the web. From the NYU Child Study Center to the Autism Society of America, Reading is Fundamental to Stanford University School of Education, our Reference Desk brings the best information from the most trusted universities, professional associations, non-profit institutes, and government agencies together in one place.

Browse our online magazine for hundreds of ideas that take learning beyond the classroom and into your family’s everyday life. We cover topics across the parental spectrum-- from practicing fractions by baking cookies, to how to deal with ADHD, bullying, to navigating the parent-teacher conference.

Explore virtual neighborhoods where parents with similar interests or challenges connect to trade advice and share their experiences with one another—whether it’s about dyslexia or dioramas.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Pregnancy

Find out more about Teenage Pregnancy.

Sue Scheff: Your Teen Daughter and Pregnancy

For parents, a teenage daughter becoming pregnant is a nightmare situation.Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States.

That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact! Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.

If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.

Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.™) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy.

We understand how you feel!No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child.

Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!We have created this website as a reference for parents dealing with teenage pregnancy in hope that we can help you through the situation and make the best decisions.

Please visit our website, Help Your Teens, for more information as well as support.For more information on Teen Pregnancy.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Early Dating/Early Sexual Activity

First Comes Love

by Connect with Kids - http://www.connectwithkids.com/

Will you be ready when your son has his first girlfriend? When your daughter has her first boyfriend? Will you be able to help them with the peer pressure to have sex? Will you be ready to address the warning signs of dating violence?

These are difficult topics for parents and kids to talk about together... First Comes Love helps you start the conversation. The program features real kids sharing their true dating stories – and suddenly the pressure is off of your children as you talk about the kids in the program. That, says experts, opens the door for communication and learning. The program also features advice from health experts and child specialists about the best way to protect children from the “dark side of teenage love.”

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Communication with Your Teenage Daughter

The Importance of Communication

While communication between your daughter and yourself can be a large key to preventing pregnancy, it is an even more important part of working through a pregnancy. Discovering your daughter is pregnant may feel like the worst possible thing that could happen. Your emotions may be paralyzing - you may be unsure of how to accept the situation or how to address it.

The first thing you must remember that all of the feelings you have are multiplied by ten for your daughter. She is angry and afraid and unable to solve her problems on her own.

While you may be angry and disappointed in her choices, be sure that she knows she is not alone. What is done is done - there is no use in resenting what has happened. Together, accept that the situation must be dealt with quickly.

Discuss the situation. Does she know how long she has been pregnant? If not, when was her last period? Has she taken a pregnancy test? With these initial answers, make a doctors appointment as soon as possible. These questions may be hard for her to answer, and may upset her further. Make sure that you don't push her to answer you. Making her comfortable will make her more inclined to share.

You will need to also address the situation regarding the baby's father. Has he been told? His parents? Do what you can to get a honest answer about her relationship with him. His role is important as well, considering he is the baby's father.

The initial conversations between you and your daughter will set the tone for the rest of her pregnancy. Regardless of her decisions, she will need you ever step of the way. Opening the communication lines right away and keeping them strong will give your daughter the support she needs to make it through her pregnancy.

www.helpyourteens.com

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) First Comes Love

By Connect with Kids

First Comes Love

Will you be ready when your son has his first girlfriend? When your daughter has her first boyfriend? Will you be able to help them with the peer pressure to have sex? Will you be ready to address the warning signs of dating violence?

These are difficult topics for parents and kids to talk about together... First Comes Love helps you start the conversation. The program features real kids sharing their true dating stories – and suddenly the pressure is off of your children as you talk about the kids in the program. That, says experts, opens the door for communication and learning.

The program also features advice from health experts and child specialists about the best way to protect children from the “dark side of teenage love.”

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Reality of Teenage Pregnancy

Teen pregnancy in the United States is a serious concern. The US has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births of any industrialized country.1/3 of all US teenage girls will become pregnant. This equals to roughly 750,000 each year!

Unmarried teenage mothers rarely finish high school; in fact, 2/3 do not.Children born to teenage mothers are more likely to suffer from low birth weight and other medical problems.

They are also more likely to develop learning disabilities and mental disorders as they reach their teenage years.The facts are real. Our sons and daughters live in a generation plagued by these statistics, and it is up to us as parents make a change.

Find out more about Teen Pregnancy.

Sue Scheff (P.U.R.E.) STD Rates Among Teen Girls

By Connect with Kids

“I wasn’t thinking about my parents, what would they think? I wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant, I wasn’t thinking about having AIDS or getting any STDs. I wasn’t thinking about anyone, just what was happening at the moment.”

– Kimberly, 17

The numbers are staggering: 3.2 million teenage girls in America have a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Why are so many young girls infected and what can parents do?

“I didn’t decide to have sex, it just happened,” says Kimberly, 17.

And, the first time Kimberly had sex, she didn’t use protection.

“I wasn’t thinking about my parents, what would they think? I wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant, I wasn’t thinking about having AIDS or getting any STDs. I wasn’t thinking about anyone, just what was happening at the moment,” says Kimberly.

Did she get an STD that first time?

“It was unprotected sex, and I could have anything right now, this is how easy it is to get these diseases,” says Kimberly.

The Centers for Disease Control reports that 1 in 4 teen girls has an STD. Even more startling, half of all African-American teen girls are infected. Experts say in many U.S. households, parents just aren’t teaching their children about the health dangers of sex.

“In the African-American community, I think it’s very hard to talk about issues surrounding HIV, surrounding STDs, surrounding teenage pregnancy. They’re not teaching them how to say no, they’re just teaching them not to do it. They’re not empowering them to stand up for themselves. They’re not giving them any tools. They’re just saying, ‘don’t do it; if you do it this is going to happen,’” says Zina Age, MSW, HIV and STD prevention advocate.

Age says if kids can see a productive future for themselves, they’re more likely to protect that future.

“They don’t have the tools to know that at 16, I don’t get pregnant; that at 16, I go to college or I graduate. They don’t have any role models to show that this actually take place. And that’s the part that’s scary,” says Age.

Kimberly was lucky -- she didn’t have an STD, but she learned a lesson.

“I used to be afraid of telling my boyfriend, ‘can you please put a condom on?’ In the moment, you’re just letting everything flow and it’s stopping everything [to ask] ‘can you go put a condom on?’ It’s kind of hard to do that. But now I actually stop and think about what I’m doing, so I learned a lot about that,” says Kimberly.

Tips for Parents

It's never too late to talk to your child about STDs. After all, a late talk is better than no talk at all. But the best time to start having these discussions is during the preteen or middle school years. (Nemours Foundation)

Questions are a good starting point for a discussion. When kids are curious, they're more open to hearing what their parents have to say. Another way to initiate a discussion is to use a media cue, such as a TV program or an article in the paper, and ask your child what he or she thinks about it. (Nemours Foundation)

Be informed. STDs can be a frightening and confusing subject, so it may help if you read up on STD transmission and prevention. You don't want to add any misinformation, and being familiar with the topic will make you feel more comfortable. (Nemours Foundation)

Ask your child what he or she already knows about STDs and what else your child would like to learn. Remember, though: Your child may already know a lot more than you realize, although much of that information could be incorrect. Parents need to provide accurate information so their kids can make the right decisions and protect themselves. (Nemours Foundation)

The only sure way to remain STD-free is to nothave sex or intimate contact with anyone outside of a committed, monogamous relationship, such as marriage. (Nemours Foundation)

References

Nemours Foundation

Sue Scheff - AIDS, STD's and Teen Sex by Connect with Kids

A Silent Epidemic

It’s scary, dangerous, and hard to talk about with your kids: one out of four sexually active teens contracts a sexually transmitted disease (STD) - 3 million new cases a year.

How do you talk to your kids about the life-long effects of STDs? About the physical and emotional pain? The real risks of oral sex?

Watch A Silent Epidemic together, and suddenly the spotlight is off of your kids and you can talk about the real kids in the program, who share their true stories about peer pressure, sex... and disease. It’s a powerful way to start the conversation in a non-threatening way, so you can both learn the facts, understand the consequences, and connect around this tough topic.

Hear the latest information from researchers, physicians and educators. Discover how to talk so your kids will listen... and learn what you can do to help your children avoid life-altering diseases.

Sue Scheff - Parent Advocates - Parenting Articles

Check out my Blog on articles covering parenting, cyber safety and more.

Sue Scheff - Teenage Pregnancy

For parents, a teenage daughter becoming pregnant is a nightmare situation.

Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States.
That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact! Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.

If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.

Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.™) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!

We have created this website as a reference for parents dealing with teenage pregnancy in hope that we can help you through the situation and make the best decisions.

Please visit our website, Help Your Teens, for more information as well as support.

For more information on Teen Pregnancy.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Benefits of Abstinence Among Teens and Pre-teens

By Connect with Kids

“If you don’t feel that they should be having sex at this age, tell them that. Explain your values. Listen to them as well, give them a chance to express their opinions as well, and you can have a discussion about it. It’s very important that adolescents have a chance to express their own opinions and to hear your reactions to those opinions.”

– Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician

Regret can be a great teacher and, according to a new survey of high school students, that’s especially true when it comes to teenagers and sex.

Trey was 14 when he first had sex.

“Just the pressure -- upper classmen -- they were just ragging me on to do it, and I just fell into that trap. I fell into that peer pressure,” says Trey, 17.

Afterwards, Trey says he regretted it.

“Just the feeling, the emotions that were going through my mind…and my thoughts were, ‘What am I doing? I feel like I’m soliciting myself, I don’t know even know this girl’s name by heart,’” recalls Trey.

In a survey of high school students by researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, sexually-experienced teens were twice as likely to value abstinence as teens who were virgins. It seems that it is after having sex that some kids learn the value of being abstinent.

“It’s unfortunate that they had to learn it the hard way, but one of the things that they’re realizing is that there is an alternative way: there’s a way for me to court [someone], or to get a guy that I like to court me and respect me and for me not to have sex,” says Alduan Tartt, psychologist.

Experts say another way kids can learn about the risks and complications of sex are from their parents -- not from “atalk” but with a conversation.

“If you don’t feel that they should be having sex at this age, tell them that. Explain your values. Listen to them as well, give them a chance to express their opinions as well, and you can have a discussion about it. It’s very important that adolescents have a chance to express their own opinions and to hear your reactions to those opinions,” says Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician.

Trey says he’s choosing abstinence now and it feels right.

“You don’t have anything to worry about. You don’t have to worry about if you have an STD. You’re just focused on your goals,” says Trey.

Tips for Parents
Abstinence is defined as not having sex. A person who decides to practice abstinence has decided not to have sex. (Nemours Foundation)

Abstinence is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Although many birth control methods can have high rates of success if used properly, they can fail occasionally. Practicing abstinence ensures that a girl will not become pregnant because there is no opportunity for sperm to fertilize an egg. (Nemours Foundation)

Only complete and consistent abstinence can totally protect against STDs. Because a person does not have any type of intimate sexual contact when he or she practices complete abstinence, there is no risk of passing on a sexually transmitted infection. (Nemours Foundation)

Don't let teasing or pressure from friends, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or even the media push you into something that's not right for you. Research shows that the majority of teens are not having sex. (www.connectwithkids.com/everybodysnotdoingit)

A couple can still have a relationship without having sex. If you've made a decision not to have sex, it's an important personal choice and the people who care about you should respect that. (Nemours Foundation)

You may have questions about making this choice or about other methods of birth control. Your doctor or nurse — or an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher or counselor — can help provide accurate answers. (Nemours Foundation)

References
Nemours Foundation
Children and Youth Coordinating Council (CYCC) www.connectwithkids.com/everybodysnotdoingit

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Sex Education and Prevention

Sex Education and Prevention

Talking with your children about sex is difficult, and it can be an easy thing to put off. Educating your child is important! If you aren't, you are allowing their knowledge to come from outside sources like the media and their friends - what is scarier!

The biggest key to preventing teenage pregnancy is education. The more your child knows about sex and the realistic effects it has, the more likely they are to make good decisions. Assuming that if sex is not discussed in your home your child will abstain is dangerously false.

Be open about sexuality. After all, it is a natural part of being human. Be approachable! Let your children know that they can ask you any questions they have about sex, including intimacy in their relationships. Regular conversations that are in good humor for both parties will keep the lines of communication open.

While you work to educate your children about sex, it is also a good idea to establish rules as far as curfews and behavior go. The two work hand in hand.

Most importantly, work with your children to find activities and goals that will keep them busy! Teenagers who become pregnant often lack activity that leaves them feeling gratified - and they turn to sex. Discuss their goals and dreams. Encourage them to have activities outside the house in positive environments. Maintain the idea that education is the most important part of being a teenager!

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Early Dating, Early Sexual Activity

By Connect with Kids

First Comes Love

Will you be ready when your son has his first girlfriend? When your daughter has her first boyfriend? Will you be able to help them with the peer pressure to have sex? Will you be ready to address the warning signs of dating violence?

These are difficult topics for parents and kids to talk about together...

First Comes Love helps you start the conversation. The program features real kids sharing their true dating stories – and suddenly the pressure is off of your children as you talk about the kids in the program. That, says experts, opens the door for communication and learning. The program also features advice from health experts and child specialists about the best way to protect children from the “dark side of teenage love.”

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): Boys and Teen Pregnancy

By Connect with Kids

How seriously do guys take teen pregnancy?

“Some of them, they like, they get a girl pregnant, they really don’t care,” says 16-year-old Dominique King. “I think most guys attitudes about it is it’s going to feel good, it’s going to be fun. I don’t think they worry about the after-effects,” adds Curtis Cotsonis, 17.

Experts say a lot of young males feel that way. “Hey, you know. If I get somebody pregnant I can walk away. And that’s a bad attitude,” explains Daniel Jean-Baptiste, an STD Prevention Educator.

And pregnancy prevention experts say changing that attitude is not easy. “It’s still very much a notch in your belt, to score for a young guy,” says Michele Ozumba, a Pregnancy Prevention Specialist with GCAP, the Governor’s Council on Adolescent Pregnancy. “It seem as if girls are the only ones who want to talk about not having sex, STD’s, not getting pregnant,” adds Jean-Baptiste.

That’s where a program like the Governor’s Council on Adolescent Pregnancy comes in. Here, male volunteers learn from pregnancy prevention specialists to become ‘teen educators’.

“They want us to spread the news to help out guys,” says 15-year-old Dontavious Cheeks.

Spreading the news, not by doing speeches or handing out pamphlets… but one conversation at a time. “When you have another teenager, who’s their age from their communities, speaks their language, so to say. They’re much more receptive,” says Jean-Baptiste. “If I’m walking down the hall with some friends of mine and hear one of them talk about sex, talk about getting a girl pregnant, talk about this that and the other thing. You know I’ll say ‘this and this could happen to you’,” says Curtis.

And experts add… the power of that peer message is multiplied when young males also get the same message at home. “Because parents are still the greatest influence on a young persons life,” says Ozumba, “Even when the parents don’t realize it.”


By Larry Eldridge
CWK Network, Inc.

Consider the following statistics gathered in a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention concerning teenage sexual behavior:

Half of all students have had sexual intercourse during their lifetime. Hispanic male students (63 percent) were significantly more likely than Hispanic female students (46 percent) to have had sexual intercourse.

Overall, black students (71 percent) were significantly more likely than Hispanic students (54 percent) and white students (45 percent) to have had sexual intercourse.

Nationwide, 8 percent of students had initiated sexual intercourse before age 13. Overall, male students (12 percent) were significantly more likely than female students (4 percent) to have initiated sexual intercourse before age 13.

Nationwide, 16 percent of all students had had sexual intercourse during their lifetime with four or more sex partners. Overall, male students (19 percent) were significantly more likely than female students (13 percent) to have had four or more sex partners.

Nationwide, 36 percent of all students had had sexual intercourse during the three months preceding the survey (i.e., currently sexually active). Overall, black students (53 percent) were significantly more likely than Hispanic and white students (36 percent and 33 percent, respectively) to be currently sexually active.

Among students who had had sexual intercourse during their lifetime, 27 percent had been abstinent during the three months preceding the survey (i.e., currently abstinent). Overall, male students (30 percent) were significantly more likely than female students (24 percent) to be currently abstinent.


By Larry Eldridge
CWK Network, Inc.

Open communication and accurate information from parents increase the chance that teens will postpone sex and will use appropriate methods of birth control once they begin – thus preventing teen pregnancy.

In talking with your child or adolescent, experts at the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry say it is helpful to:

Encourage your child to talk and ask questions.

Maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for discussions.

Use words that are understandable and comfortable.

Try to determine your child’s level of knowledge and understanding.

Keep your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to talk about your own discomfort.

Relate sex to love, intimacy, caring and respect for oneself and one’s partner.

Be open in sharing your values and concerns.

Discuss the importance of responsibility for choices and decisions.

Help your child to consider the pros and cons of choices.

By developing open, honest and ongoing communication about responsibility, sex and choice, parents can help their youngsters learn about sex in a healthy and positive manner.

Sue Scheff: The Reality of Teen Pregnancy

Teen pregnancy in the United States is a serious concern. The US has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births of any industrialized country.

1/3 of all US teenage girls will become pregnant. This equals to roughly 750,000 each year! Unmarried teenage mothers rarely finish high school; in fact, 2/3 do not.

Children born to teenage mothers are more likely to suffer from low birth weight and other medical problems. They are also more likely to develop learning disabilities and mental disorders as they reach their teenage years.

The facts are real. Our sons and daughters live in a generation plagued by these statistics, and it is up to us as parents make a change.

Find out more about Teen Pregnancy.

Sue Scheff: Talking with your children about sex and relationships

Sex & the Silent Parent

Sex. It’s on TV, the Internet, in magazines, movies and music videos. But it’s still one of those topics that is hard for parents and their children to talk about. And that’s a problem, because what kids don’t know – and what they think they know – can hurt them.

Learn how to talk with your kids about sex – in a way that they’ll listen. Order the Sex & the Silent Parent. You’ll learn specific advice about where, when, what and how to talk with your kids about sex.

You may be surprised by what your kids believe about sex. A recent health survey reported that most kids don’t know you can get an STD from oral sex. A majority believes you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex. And two-thirds of teens that do have sex later say they regret it. It’s up to you to give your children the facts and help them be safe and healthy.

Sex & the Silent Parent provides information to help parents learn when the timing is right to have these conversations and how to answer the questions kids ask. You’ll learn how important it is to discuss the dangers and risks, as well as explain what it means to develop trusting relationships. Kids really do want to talk… and listen… and learn from an adult they trust.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): What your kids are doing shouldn't be a mystery

Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet? Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life.

If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”

Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: The Reality of Teen Pregnancy

The Reality of Teenage Pregnancy


Teen pregnancy in the United States is a serious concern. The US has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births of any industrialized country.

1/3 of all US teenage girls will become pregnant. This equals to roughly 750,000 each year! Unmarried teenage mothers rarely finish high school; in fact, 2/3 do not.

Children born to teenage mothers are more likely to suffer from low birth weight and other medical problems. They are also more likely to develop learning disabilities and mental disorders as they reach their teenage years.

The facts are real. Our sons and daughters live in a generation plagued by these statistics, and it is up to us as parents make a change.

Find out more about Teen Pregnancy.


Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Teen Pregnancy

For parents, a teenage daughter becoming pregnant is a nightmare situation.

Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States.

That is roughly 1/3 of the age group's population, a startling fact.

Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.

If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters' life.

Our organization, Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!

Sex Education and Prevention

Talking with your children about sex is difficult, and it can be an easy thing to put off. Educating your child is important! If you aren't, you are allowing their knowledge to come from outside sources like the media and their friends - what is scarier!

The biggest key to preventing teenage pregnancy is education. The more your child knows about sex and the realistic effects it has, the more likely they are to make good decisions. Assuming that if sex is not discussed in your home your child will abstain is dangerously false.

Be open about sexuality. After all, it is a natural part of being human. Be approachable! Let your children know that they can ask you any questions they have about sex, including intimacy in their relationships. Regular conversations that are in good humor for both parties will keep the lines of communication open.

While you work to educate your children about sex, it is also a good idea to establish rules as far as curfews and behavior go. The two work hand in hand.

Most importantly, work with your children to find activities and goals that will keep them busy! Teenagers who become pregnant often lack activity that leaves them feeling gratified - and they turn to sex. Discuss their goals and dreams. Encourage them to have activities outside the house in positive environments. Maintain the idea that education is the most important part of being a teenager!

The Importance of Communication

While communication between your daughter and yourself can be a large key to preventing pregnancy, it is an even more important part of working through a pregnancy. Discovering your daughter is pregnant may feel like the worst possible thing that could happen. Your emotions may be paralyzing - you may be unsure of how to accept the situation or how to address it.
The first thing you must remember that all of the feelings you have are multiplied by ten for your daughter. She is angry and afraid and unable to solve her problems on her own.

While you may be angry and disappointed in her choices, be sure that she knows she is not alone. What is done is done - there is no use in resenting what has happened. Together, accept that the situation must be dealt with quickly.

Discuss the situation. Does she know how long she has been pregnant? If not, when was her last period? Has she taken a pregnancy test? With these initial answers, make a doctors appointment as soon as possible. These questions may be hard for her to answer, and may upset her further. Make sure that you don't push her to answer you. Making her comfortable will make her more inclined to share.

You will need to also address the situation regarding the baby's father. Has he been told? His parents? Do what you can to get a honest answer about her relationship with him. His role is important as well, considering he is the baby's father.

The initial conversations between you and your daughter will set the tone for the rest of her pregnancy. Regardless of her decisions, she will need you ever step of the way. Opening the communication lines right away and keeping them strong will give your daughter the support she needs to make it through her pregnancy.

Support

Many organizations are available both online and in your community to help you and your daughter through her pregnancy.

Do as much research as possible for support groups, classes and books that will help your daughter through whatever decision she makes. No matter what her choice, the emotional effects will need to be addressed. If she chooses to be a parent, finding other teenage parents in a positive learning environment will be helpful as well.

For more information visit www.sue-scheff.org or www.helpyourteens.com

Teen Pregnancy Rates Up: By Connect with Kids

“I knew a little bit about it just from health class, things like that, but nobody in my family had ever really talked to me about it.”
– Amber Schalk, 19

For the first time in 14 years, the number of babies born to teenage parents in the U.S. is up, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). What’s behind the increase?

Amber says she had to learn about sex on her own.

“I knew a little bit about it just from health class, things like that. But nobody in my family had ever really talked to me about it,” says Amber Schalk, 19.

Now, Amber is a 19-year-old mother of two.

“What book do you want to read?” Schalk asks her daughter.

“I wasn’t using any protection, because I guess I just thought I wouldn’t get pregnant. I don’t know why, but I did -- eventually it happened,” says Schalk.

According to the CDC, after a steady decline for more than a decade, the teen birth rate rose 3 percent from 2005 to 2006. Some experts fear that what parents and schools teach kids about sex is superficial or incomplete.

“We’re still grappling with the whole idea that somehow if you have knowledge that you’re going to act on it. That is totally wrong. Actually, the more knowledge you have, the less likely you are to engage in sex,” says Gail Wyatt, PhD, clinical psychologist.

She says teens are powerfully curious about sex. That’s why parents need to be open and honest.

“You don’t want to walk away and say, ‘that’s not a good question, I’m not going to talk to you,’ or, ‘you shouldn’t even be thinking about that.’ To shut a conversation down is probably about the worst thing that a parent can do, and to make the teen feel guilty for having asked the question,” says Wyatt.

“Kids wind up getting these answers, but they’re not going to get them from you. They learn to ask their friends,” says Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician.

Schalk says she loves her kids and yet, there is some regret.

“I wish somebody just would have talked to me. Sat down and talked to me about sex and things that were going to happen during my teenage years, but nobody did,” says Schalk.


Tips for Parents

If kids are left to their own devices, they may simply act on their hormones. If they understand their bodies and their hormones, chances are they won’t choose to be sexually active. (Gail Elizabeth Wyatt, Ph.D., clinical psychologist)


Just as we teach our children how to brush their teeth and take care of themselves, parents and educators need to teach children about reproductive health care. It’s a vital part of who we are as healthy human beings. (Michele Ozumba, Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention)


It can be difficult for parents to talk to their teens about sex. One good way to start the conversation is to use teaching moments from television programs, news reports, DVDs, etc.

“One suggested way to open the conversation is to say, ‘Even though I don’t want you to be having sex now, I know that [some] kids do have sex in high school, and whether or not you’re going to, you’re going to have friends who have sex, or classmates, and I think we should talk about this.’” (Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician, researcher, author)

When your teens ask about sex, one of the worst things that a parent can do is to shut down a conversation, and make the teen feel guilty for having asked the question. Listen, try not to be judgmental, and provide age-appropriate information. (Gail Elizabeth Wyatt, Ph.D., clinical psychologist)

“Your child may be sitting at the dinner table pretending not to listen, but they’re absorbing every word. They’re very eager to hear what you have to say about this. Actually, when kids are asked who they want to learn about sex from, it’s their parents.” (Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician, researcher, author)


“Don’t just talk about sex, talk about love. Share with your kids what’s wonderful about love. Share how sex can fit into a loving, caring relationship. Kids should get all of that from their parents. They shouldn’t just get the part about how body parts fit together; they should get the whole emotional package from their parents.” (Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician, researcher, author)

Talking about sex shouldn’t just be a lecture. Listen to what your teen is saying and thinking. They are exposed to much more sexually explicit material than previous generations, and need to separate the truth from the fiction. (Michele Ozumba, Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention)

References


Columbia University
Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention
Guttmacher Institute